leaves of a life

We've Moved!

2011-11-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

Hello, Dear Friends!

You are probably wondering why I've been absent all week.

Its because I've been busy getting the new home ready for your viewing pleasure!

Please hop on over to the link below, bookmark it, and follow us:

http://ceemariemargaret.blogspot.com/

(Pssst! We posted some new preggo pics...)

Can't wait to see you there!

Days 38-40

2011-11-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm kind of a slacker for grouping all of these days together lately, but please forgive.

Its not easy being a pregnant woman and working full time! Especially when you've been displaced from your home.

Story time:

SO. Our apartment is in this super swaggy old building that was built around 1915 and which housed the upper-crust of Seattle for many a year. Then it went downhill in the 70's and 80's (like most things) and closed, and then underwent some major re-vamps and re-opened for business right before we moved in. We love the charm: penny tiles in the bathroom, vintage hardware on the doors, steam-heat stand-alone radiators, cute little euro-appliances in the kitchen, etc.

However, along with all of the charm comes one hitch: a couple old pipes that don't want to cooperate with our modern-day world. So, they hiss and spit, and leak and corrode inside the walls when no one is looking and then rear their ugly heads in the form of cracks, leaks, etc. Luckily, the leaks have not been IN our apartment, but rather above and below us. Still, they needed to get access to the pipes which happened to be behind our bedroom wall. We have subsequently been relocated to a spare room (much like a hotel room) which our building offers to guests of the residents. Pretty nice considering we'd otherwise be homeless because I (and Peanut) cannot be around the plaster/mud and paint fumes which have been permeating our quarters. Additionally, drilling through drywall and concrete is not the cleanest process, and a fine dust has settled throughout the apartment. I'm really looking forward to deep-cleaning when we get to re-inhabit our apartment sometime this weekend. Nope.
I guess its a pretty good thing we're leaving for Portland this evening to visit family and attend a baby shower for our cousin who is also having a girl :).
Speaking of baby girls, Peanut is growing steadily, kicking and dancing up a storm, and apparently is about the size of an eggplant right now. Hahaha... I'm slightly appalled by the idea of comparing fetuses to food items (it kinda grosses me out), but I thought that was a funny one. I found a couple more cute baby clothes items last weekend and her layette could now last more than a couple days, I think. Its very hard for me to find baby clothes I like. Anyone else have that problem? I can't stand anything with writing on it ("cute as a bug/button", "pretty like mommy", "daddy's girl"... vomit), or anything fuzzy/sparkly/hot pink. I figure she can pick that stuff out for herself when she goes through her "I'm-a-princess" stage in a couple of years, and I'm just going to accept that as a reality right now. So when I actually find items that resemble a normal wardrobe, I don't even make excuses, and I promptly snag them! I usually find these things at Ross or TJ Maxx and then I feel like I'm getting a deal, so I don't have to battle internally before buying a onesie.

Now comes the gratitude part:
I am very grateful that we got to stay in the same building and just have an elevator ride separating us from the comforts of home while we are temporarily displaced. I am grateful that the leaky pipes didn't get into our apartment and ruin any of our stuff. I am grateful for discount baby clothes (because why pay full price?). I am grateful for still being able to get semi-decent night's sleep even while getting more and more uncomfortable in my own skin. I am grateful to be making it safely and healthily into the third trimester with Peanut. I am grateful for a sister and parents who are just a phone-call away and full of wisdom and endless patience when I need to get my bitch-and-moan on, so that I don't have to wear Hubby out with it.
Hooray!
and Happy Friday.

Instead of the usual image, I'm going to supply you with this link to the most disturbing batch of baby shower cakes known to man. It really is just mind-blowing. enjoy...

Day 37

2011-11-08T16:35:00.000-08:00

Today I have been grateful for many things:

1. The fact that I'm bilingual, and that there are so many Germans living in Seattle.

I get to converse in German with one of my coworkers and with the little woman who owns a German deli in the market. Best wurst in town!

2. The fact that my friend taught me how to get started playing the guitar, and that my dad gave me his guitar on "permanent loan", so that I can play guitar whenever I feel like it. (....and especially after stressful days at work).

3. The fact that work went by so quickly today, due to how busy it was.

4. The sun was out!

5. I got to go to lunch with a friend of mine, and even indulged on a chocolate croissant from a French bakery....mmmm.

6. I get to go hang with my sister-in-law tonight and listen to live music.

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I'm considering this diem carpe-d.

Day 36

2011-11-07T17:24:00.000-08:00

I am grateful for human experience, and shared, collective experience at that.

I love being able to connect with people- both in intimate conversation, and in a huge group someplace like a club, listening to live music.

Its miraculous that we can go to a movie and laugh at all the same parts.

We all come from such different backgrounds that you'd think the things that would make me smile- a middle-class, caucasian female, who was raised in the Rocky Mountains of the USA- would be totally different from that of a poor, asian male, raised in the Himalayas of India/Tibet.

Not so.

Yes, there are certain social customs and jokes that would have trouble spanning the divide, but there are also things like love, music, art, and irony that are not lost on any of us.

We will all bring our own personal experiences to the table, and we can all have a unique pairing of emotions that are triggered, but sometimes- in the most inexplicable ways- we can have the same experience as a total stranger. I know it because I've lived it.

What a wonderful gift!

Do you ever think that somewhere out beyond right and wrong, beyond this life, beyond any concept of time or "other", we will all be pooling our collective experiences until there is no longer anything other that intelligent emotion? That we'll be able to recognize a separation of being, but recognize all experience as our own, as we'd lived/experienced/felt it ourselves?

Think about it for a minute...

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I've thought about that numerous times throughout my life, and I'm honestly not sure where that came from today, other than being spurred from a deep gratitude for the intimates in my life; my close friends, my husband, my family.

They are the people I can share an emotion with, without even having to say a word.

I am so excited to be creating a little person who we will share that with, as well.

I'm sure we won't always "see eye-to-eye" on things, but on the things that matter, we will just understand one another.

Days 32-35

2011-11-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, Friends!

This has been quite the doozey of a week.

I started my new shift at work (which is awesome!), but has taken a small toll on my mind and body since I'm not used to it yet. I'm really loving getting out of the office in time to spend a couple hours in the daylight, running errands and such, but my night-owl mind still hasn't gotten the message to shut-off around 9pm so I can fit in a long night of sleeping. Blame it on the hormones, but sleep is a hard commodity to come by these days- even without a major schedule upset- so its been rough, to say the least.

I think I actually felt the toll for the first time last night- and so did Hubby.

My tired brain was no match for the hormones and I became very gripey and irritable over some small details that seem to bother me time and time again, but just pushed me over the edge last night.

Its funny because we were just discussing the other day about how rational and non-moody I've been for this pregnancy, especially since our other male friends/siblings/fathers have described the overnight transformation of their pleasant wives into utter-nightmarish-hosebeasts due to hormonal changes.

The sleep deprivation definitely got to me and for the first time in our whole marriage I went to bed mad as hell, for what I knew was a slightly over-blown incident, but I just did not care. I was ticked! And I still feel it today... So its probably good that Hubby had to fly down and visit some friends this weekend and give me some space to sleep and cool off. It was probably kind of funny to be a casual onlooker watching our parting at the airport this morning.

Anyways, that said, I am grateful for sleep. I am so thankful for the rationality, peace of mind, and clarity that a good nights sleep brings. I can always tell how tired I am by how emotional I am- its been a very trusty gauge throughout my life. I'm also grateful for how well I've been able to handle this pregnancy. I think it must have something to do with the fact that I've been relatively healthy and active. I am grateful that we live on a steep hill that gives me a workout on the way to and from work. And I am grateful for the relaxation techniques I've been learning in the HypnoBirthing classes, and for the opportunity to use them on a daily basis. These are not just great tools for birth, they are life skills.

Day 31

2011-10-31T13:45:00.000-07:00

HaLlOwEeN

Do you love this holiday as much as I do?!?

Well, maybe, but definitely not as much as my sister does.

But we love it a LOT.

We're having a Halloween party at work and a bunch of my coworkers have been bringing their kids around the office for trick-or-treating. Can I just say how nice it is to hear kids laughing and talking in this place? It totally changes the ambiance and its quite a beautiful thing. : ) Skunks, cows, princesses & ninjas, oh my!

And so I am going to post some fantastic inspiration:

Source for all images

Tonight, we are having some friends over and we're going to be watching a little of this:

And listing/dancing to a little of this:

Click Me

And eating a loooooot of candy.

I am very excited and very grateful that this Halloween lasted 3 whole days!

Day 30

2011-10-28T17:58:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, we're halfway through the Gratitude project!

Its going to a be a festivity-filled weekend:

-Halloween outings with friends

-Dressing up in costume and going out

-Eating LOTS of sweet things

I am grateful for crazy holidays and the opportunity to dress like a crazy person!

Here is a cute idea I found on Pinterest:

Adorable, right?

Yes. But instead, I am dressing up as the Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story :).

Made my costume and everything... hopefully will have some pics to share later.

What are you all doing for Halloween?

If you're in Seattle, give us a call!

Happy Halloweenie!

Day 29

2011-10-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

I don't have one big thing I'm grateful for today... just a bunch of little things.

1. The sun is out in Seattle

2. There was a morning fog over the tops of the buildings as I walked to

work this morning. It was really beautiful when the sun began peeking out.

3. People are commenting on my blog posts- thanks to you all!
I love it and it makes my day!

4. I found out I will get to switch to an earlier shift at work,

which means more me-time during the day for errands, etc!

And I wont have to walk home in the dark...

5. My sister-in-law posted the most adorable video of my nephew that made me smile

6. I cleaned the baby furniture that was given to us last night and started setting-up

a corner of our home for Peanut... >grin<

7. Our curtains came in the mail! I'm loving it. Come over and see them!

8. This blog with a list of "the little things"

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Day 28

2011-10-26T18:01:00.000-07:00

This is going to sound cliche, but I am so freakin' grateful for my body!

I swear I've already posted about this, but its just so miraculous. I keep discovering new things every day.

Now you're thinking, "Geez. This girl is cah-ray-zay. She's how old? And she's saying she's learning new things about her body? What could she possibly be learning?"

Well, I would tell you details, but if you've ever been pregnant, you already know, (and some of it you just don't want to remember yourself, let alone go blabbing it all over the interwebs),

but other stuff is just amazing.

Seriously. The transformation of a pregnant body is miraculous.

Especially now that Peanut is getting so big (2 lbs!), and I can feel even her smaller movements.

She is one active fetus!

And she hates it when I wear tight pants. Its a game of tag we play. I can press on a spot and she'll kick against it. I think its adorable to feel her little personality already showing itself...

Despite all of the weirdness of my body, and the preggo-transformation, I am still pretty fit and healthy.

(The occasional trip to the chiropractor and massage therapist is icing on the cake.)

At six months, my bump is now unmistakeable and its pretty hilarious to see the looks I'm getting-

especially in a male-dominated, corporate workplace.

I'm sure they were wondering for a while if I was just getting fat, but now that I carry the tell-tale signs of

soon-to-be-mommydom, I'm getting full-on, head-to-toe double takes, and blatant stares.

The older, married ones smile knowingly, but the young bucks have no idea what to do with me.

They give me a wide berth, and duck a little when I pass, like they're guilty for knowing what act had to transpire to get me to my current state.

Its pretty hilarious, and I find myself suppressing the urge to shout, "boo!" at them when they sheepishly eye my rotund earth-goddessness.

Perhaps its brazen of me to walk around, proudly carrying this secret in my mid-section, and smiling back at their questioning eyes so confidently and happily?

Not so.

I am no longer seen as an equal, but something far greater.

A co-creator of life. An untouchable.

And I am grateful for this gift.

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Day 26 & 27

2011-10-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

The weekend was wonderful and lazy, with not much to report.

We made some new friends at church and are excited to get to know them!

There are so many young, married couples in our ward to associate with- it keeps things interesting.

Yesterday, we invited one such couple over to our home for dinner.

Adam and Hillary came and brought their new baby girl, Mary, along with them.

It was so fun to have a baby in the apartment and to have a fun, relaxing evening with friends!

I am grateful for having an excuse to cook big meals and play games with people who's company we really enjoy.

I am also grateful that Justin has a ton of generous co-workers who want to give us free baby stuff!

Last night, one of the dropped off a lovely wood changing table and pack 'n play/bassinet for us. Other than some light dusting on the changing table, they are both in fantastic condition and I'm excited to go find pads and a mattress for them. I'm even thinking of painting the changing table or sanding it and staining it darker to match the rest of our furniture. Projects, projects. I wouldn't let Hubby go to sleep last night without first helping me set-up the pack n' play. Its kind of fun to see that baby furniture in our home. It makes the fact that she's coming feel a little more tangible... like this bump wasn't tangible enough!

I'm really looking forward to going home tonight and just lounging and doing laundry... maybe watching some more episodes of Mad Men with the Hubbs, and then doing some relaxation practice.

Its wonderful to entertain, but its also wonderful to veg-out and eat leftovers...

Here's to hoping you find your zen-place today.

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Day 25

2011-10-21T17:43:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for memories
and for the travels I've already taken and travels yet to come.

I am two payments away from paying off the loan I took out to go to Europe this last time, and I'm so excited!

But you know what I'm even more excited about? The fact that I went!

My parents are great at giving practical advice, and the encouragement my Mother gave when I fretted about taking out a loan to go study abroad in Europe just continues to stay true, and I'm sure will be even more true in a couple years. She said, "Do it. Don't look back. You will be making the memories that you will hold dear while you are rocking your babies."

Money comes and goes, but memories last forever.

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A picture of me studying some frescoes in a home in Pompeii.

I miss the sights, sounds, smells, and people who helped create all of the memories from this trip.

You make me rich.

Days 23 & 24

2011-10-20T17:39:00.000-07:00

I had such a good day yesterday that I just didn't even think about blogging!

How's that for gratitude?

Here are the reasons life was so wonderful yesterday:

1. Gorgey-mc-gorgeous day in Seattle! The sun was out, the air was the perfect temp for a scarf and pea-coat

2. I discovered a new place that sells bahn-mi (obsessed!) that is two blocks from the office

3. I discovered the most hilarious thing I've seen in a looong time and it gave me a week's worth of endorphines in about 5 min flat. View it here.

4. I finally went shopping for maternity jeans! BEST $100 I've ever spent (2 pairs of jeans + a bra heehee)

And here are the reasons I'm grateful for today:

1. Got to attend my first restaurant week lunch with my coworkers at the Dahlia Lounge (3 courses for $15)

2. Became a super-genius and figured out how to convert some music files onto my computer at work so I could burn a cd and then have it on my Mac. Doesn't sound hard, does it? Trust me. It took a midnight epiphany to come up with it. The irony was it was "relaxation music" from our HypnoBirthibng class that the instructor put on my flash drive. When I tried to put it on my laptop, I walked away fully stressed and not in the least relaxed. I am happy to now have both the music and the peace of mind it will bring :) savvy.

3. I get to go to our ward temple night tonight. Its been far too long since I last attended, and I'm psyched!

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Day 22

2011-10-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, my goodness. I cannot say this enough, but I am grateful for the SUN!

The source of all life, an infinite source of metaphors, warmth, and happiness for me.

How many of you out there are affected by S.A.D.?

I most definitely am, and its really hard up here in Seattle, because not only do the days get shorter and less sun-filled, it also gets super gloomy and can often be the same color outside when I walk to work as it is when I walk home.

But today (and yesterday!) the sun is out, and it is a most beautiful Autumn day in the city.

I just found this quote on my friend Michelle's blog :

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I really love it and believe it to be true.
I've found that over the past year, I've developed what my father refers to as a "city-face" when I'm walking around. You know the kind; distant stare, tight mouth, confident-but-not-so-confident air, kind of a glower?
I really don't like it, but with so many crazies roaming about, you kind of have to look slightly off-putting to keep a safe distance. I find myself looking around at people while I'm walking and for about every 50 people I pass, I find one person who seems to be smiling about something, and either shares that smile with me, or keeps on going in their own world. I find it refreshing when we get to smile at each other, and even if we don't I feel like it puts me in a better mood. I am going to try and be my own sun this winter. I want people to wonder why I'm smiling and/or just looking pleasant. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

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One Year!!!

2011-10-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful weekend we had!

Hubby and I celebrated our 1-Year Wedding Anniversary, and I can sincerely say that I am grateful to be hitched to his wagon for eternity. I was laying in bed last night, with him snoozing away next to me, and thinking how great it is that no matter what happens- so long as we are faithful to our covenants and each other- our marriage doesn't just end at "...'till death do you part...". What a beautiful gift we've given each other.

Its funny to look back on where we were last year and think how much has changed!

Never would I have imagined that I would be 23 weeks pregnant with a little girl at our first anniversary.

Its just amazing.

Here are a few snapshots of our life together up 'till now:

Dating

1. The very first picture of us, taken at my birthday party- the day he first got my number

2. Candid snapshot of us at a gallery stroll

3. Same night, at our favorite midnight snack spot- Sammy's (the waitress snapped this on her phone)

4. Sushi restaurant on my sister's birthday

Engaged

1. and 2. Taken during our engagement photo session

3. At our friend Allison's wedding

4. Taken right before we drove down to Portland for our wedding

Wedding

1-4. Taken in Portland, Oregon on October 15th and 16th, 2010

Married Life

1. In front of the infamous gum-wall at Pike Place Market
(the jacket is deceiving- I'm not pregnant in this pic)! haha)

2. At Pacific Northwest Ballet's Cinderella

3. At the Devotcha show at the Paramount

4. (cheating) Taken by our sister, Kira, on the grounds of Le Petit Trianon, Palace Versailles, France

And there have been so many more wonderful memories that haven't been documented anywhere but our hearts and memories (and this blog, I guess :) ).

On Saturday night, Justin and I went to our favorite place to eat: Toulouse Petit.
It is french/creole comfort food in a candlelit, clandestine atmosphere and we adore it.
We always have the best conversations here- and there is always some interesting people watching to boot!

On Sunday we went to our HypnoBirthing class and then invited our brother, Cody, over. He was the only immediate family member not present at our nuptial celebrations last year (he was serving a full-time mission in Texas), and we thought it would be fun to include him on one of our special days (since we had a two-day party). We played three-way cribbage on the board Justin's father carved for us, and thawed the wedding cake we froze last year. Justin and Cody proceeded to hang some shelves in the living room while I baked a carrot cake (with carrots from our garden!) in case the wedding cake was a bust.
Surprisingly, the cake was still fresh and delicious- I seriously don't know what I did right!
(Tinfoil and a freezer bag my be the secret to my success... I also let the cake thaw inside the closed freezer bag so the moisture wasn't lost.)
But even more surprisingly, there was a hint of flowery goodness that must have lingered from the gardenias we placed next to the cake at our reception- go figure! Did you even know that was possible? I didn't. Those are some potent flowers!
Here is a pic of what the top tier of our cake looked like then:

And here is what it looked like yesterday:

Still yummy :) Cody enjoyed being a part of our celebration, and I was really pleased that the cake wasn't super nasty so he could enjoy a little memory of our day!

Husband, I love you more than words and I'm so happy to be starting another exciting chapter of our life together. This year will be even better than last year, and I can't even imagine the awesomeness that our next anniversary will bring. Thank you for being strong when I am weak. Thank you for loving me at my worst. Thank you for continually telling me you love my bum- especially now that I'm preggo and feel like a turd most days. Thank you for kissing me every night before we go to sleep. I love you forever.
-C

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Day 21

2011-10-14T18:10:00.000-07:00

You know what I just realized?

I have had at least one major technological development or social networking tool released for every stage in my life... (not an exact timeline, mind you, just a record of when I got on-board with things)...

Gradeschool: computers (Oregon Trail, anyone?)

Middleschool: cellphones, email and MSN chat

Highschool: texting, the colorful iMac desktop computer and MySpace

College: personal laptops, smartphones and Facebook

Post-College: electric/hybrid cars, iPhone and Pinterest

Kind of nuts when you look at how fast it all happened...

I think about Peanut and about all of the crazy things that will happen in her lifetime, and it boggles the mind.

In this age of technological advancements, I am most grateful for handwritten thank-you notes, personal letters that come with a stamp on them, and sincere birthday cards where people actually took the time to think about why they're grateful you are a part of their life and wrote it down for you.

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Confession:

I have kept almost every single birthday card, thank you card, or special note anyone has ever given me. I have a couple letterboxes filled to the brim with them, and I find them tucked into books of mine as I've used them as bookmarks, etc.

I adore finding these gems and remembering the people who wrote them to me. They are simple reminders that people care about and love me, and they always pop up at opportune times when I am in need of comfort.

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Did you know some schools are actually removing penmanship classes from their curriculum? They are opting out of teaching cursive and instead making kids take typing classes! Forty-one states have already adopted this rule. If that's not the most absurd thing, I don't know what is. I understand the "reasons" but I don't get it.

Resolutions:

I will teach Peanut the art of good penmanship.

I will set a good example for her by continuing to hand-write personal thank you notes.

There will always be stationary, stamps, and envelopes in our home.

I will allow her to text, but I will expect full sentences and not a string of symbols.

I will help her learn to sign her name instead of just printing it, so she can take pride in "making her mark", refusing to let society revert her back to a time when a symbol or an "x" was considered sufficient, and rob her of her right to literacy, which opens the doors to knowledge, and thus power.

Day 20- Etymology

2011-10-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for language.

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I love being able to develop profound relationships with people, books, ideas, and objects because of a written alphabet of little symbols that have developed into meaning.

There are many things about the English language that I wish I could change (for instance, our grammar rules in regards to the spelling of words, silent letters, and the fact that we only have one word for "love" when it can mean so many different things), but I digress. There are so many things that I love about language in general, that I must share with you a recent obsession. It is a website that defines the etymology of both words and phrases, and has become one of my new favorite ways to kill time:

The Phrase Finder

This site is awesome. The above link goes right to the etymology page, but if you click on the title, you go to the home page and can see things like "Famous Last Words", or the bizarre/hilarious/profound/sad/ridiculous things people said before they left the world.

Call me a nerd, a logophile, or a bookworm, but its true. I just can't get enough. And I love knowing where they came from. Go ahead, take it for a spin. You might enjoy yourself and learn something new!

Day 19

2011-10-12T14:35:00.000-07:00

*Disclaimer.... This post may offend some of you, and I apologize in advance if it happens to rub you the wrong way. I just needed to express this thought/feeling because I've seen so many negative posts and statuses on Facebook and throughout the web. Feel free to skip this post and come back to me tomorrow if you are offended easily by political topics.

Today I am grateful to live in a country where freedom of expression is still accepted and invited. I'm not sure why people are getting so mad at the "Wall Street" and/or local protesters in their areas and dismissing them all as ignorant, anarchist hippies. I am grateful that there are outlets for opinions contrary to the views of the paid talking heads on news media. There are real, legitimate concerns being expressed over the economic woes which currently face, or will face (brace yourself), the vast majority of U.S. citizens now and in the near future. I am grateful that people still take the time to read, to look deeper than the easily-accessed (and easily corrupted) sources, and to inform themselves. I am grateful that people are taking a step back from the fabricated partisan politics created to distract the majority of our citizens from the real issues. It brings me great hope for the future of our society- the one that our children will inherit. I'm not proud of all of the historical events of our country, and I don't even consider myself a true patriot, but I am grateful to have the opportunity for open, honest discourse with people who both agree and disagree with my views.

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I am grateful to not be counted among the 9.1% of unemployed persons in this country. I am grateful to not have to rely on the government programs I support (which, admittedly, some are apt to abuse but which are nonetheless important for inspiring altruism when some would get help no other way). I am grateful to be living in a mostly-free society, built on the backs of immigrants and hard-working people like my parents, grand parents, and great grand parents. I am grateful for a document which was written by Founding Fathers who believed in accountability to a higher law and power, and who warned about the corruption that is now so prevalent in our society. I pray that God will continue to bless America, and I will continue to hope for the best from our leaders despite their best efforts to try and make me lose faith in them.

Day 18- Foxy Lady

2011-10-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with all things fox lately.

Maybe its because I find them adorable?

Maybe its because its Autumn and this season is bringing out the full force of my power colors:

orange and gold?

Maybe its because my inner lioness recognizes the kindred spirit of kitty in them?

And maybe its because Peanut likes them?

Whatever it is, I am finding no lack of inspiration to feed my need on Etsy.

1. Necklace, 2. Tunic, 3. Print, 4. T-shirt

5. Onesie, 6. School Set, 7. Onesie, 8. Card

9. Chair, 10. Book, 11. Rings, 12. Leggings

13. Plush Toys, 14. Coat, 15. Card, 16. Print

I am so grateful that God decided to make Fall beautiful with all of the changing colors and golden light.
It makes the fading of my favorite season all the more bearable. I am grateful that there is beauty in change. I am grateful for beautiful transitions into life and death. And I am grateful for an excuse to stock up on cute, wooly accessories, jackets, and boots!

What are your current Autumn obsessions?

In other news, Justin and I were able to attend our first birthing class yesterday! After much research and lots of wonderful conversations with friends, we/I decided on the HypnoBirthing method. It was such a wonderful introductory class, that we are both really excited to practice, practice, practice! That is the key. I will keep you all posted on our progress as we prepare to welcome our Baby Girl.

Our Week Away

2011-10-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

Weddings, Disneyland, babies, pool-side lounging, the sharing of many delicious meals, and laughing a lot!

Here is smattering of what happened during our week away, according to my phone.

I really need to take more pictures.

Hubby and I are planning to get a camera- most likely a digital SLR because its easier on the blogging, although I'm a die-hard film-o-phile. Any suggestions? What camera(s) do you use?

I also need to post some new photos of my bump, because it has hit a growth spurt. You can kind of see the top of it in the center pic. It was fun having to hide my bump with my purse so I could go on rides on-the-sly. Don't worry. I didn't go on any coasters like Space Mountain. But I did sneak onto the Indian Jones ride. Its my favorite and I was not about to make a Disney trip without going on that one.

It was fun to just hang out with my nephew while everyone else was riding the ones I opted not to go on. And Dad and Mom took turns staying off with me, as well. Good quality catch-up time.

I have such find memories of going to Disneyland with my family as a little kid and its so fun to go as a big kid with an extended family. My Dad kept commenting on how much of a dream it was to be going to Disneyland with your family as a Grandparent.
I loved going during this Halloween time of year, as well! It was so fun seeing all of the more nefarious Disney characters, that you don't normally get to see, coming out of the woodwork: Cruella Deville, Jafar, J. Worthington Foulfellow (the fox from Pinocchio), etc. And the Haunted Mansion was dressed to the nines! Very cool indeed.

It was such a wonderful week!

My sister and I got to reminiscing about it last night on the phone. Family is such a wonderful gift. I am so grateful for my parents and siblings, and siblings' spouses, and extended family, and my husband. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to keep growing our families and to be able to have weeks like this last one where we were all together, celebrating life and love and being with each other!

Now, if we can just work on all living closer together... ha!

Announcement

2011-10-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hello, Dear Friends!

We are back from our wonderful, week-long excursion to spend time with family.

We got to go to two sealings, a mission-drop, a wedding reception, a family trip to Disneyland, stayed at five different hotels, and flew on four separate airlines!

Are you exhausted? We are.
I was going to post pics of our trip along with this post, but I have not had time to go through and edit them whilst playing catch-up with real-life, so that will have to wait.

Whilst we were away, we got to reveal the gender of our "Little Peanut" to our family members.
Many of you have been asking and patiently waiting to hear the news.

I was looking for fun ideas and came across a "gender-reveal cake".
You can call the bakery with the gender, or have your ultrasound tech call, in case you yourselves want to be surprised. The bakery will then bake a cake and cover it in white frosting to hide the gender.
You cut into it, and its either pink or blue on the inside to reveal if its a boy or a girl.

Here is what the outside of our cake looked like:

And here is what the inside looked like:

Yep! Pinkpinkpinkpinkpink!

We could not be more thrilled. Intuitively, we knew it was a girl since we first found out I was pregnant. And we are so so happy to have that confirmed :). She is going to be the biggest Daddy's-Girl of all time. I just know it. And it will be quite amusing to see Justin turn to putty in her hands. I'm sure that once I see her little face, I will be smitten, too. I pretty much already am.
As predicted, Hubby got to feel our little girl kick a couple times this week. She gets super active around bedtime and we just love it! She loves it when I drink apple juice or eat sugary mints in between meals, and she starts doing fetus tae-bo in approval. We had a check-up yesterday and my doc said that her ultrasound pics and info "look perfect". I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear those words.

Thank you for sharing in our joy!

It looks like most of you shared our intuition, as well! :)

Days 16-17

2011-09-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

How was everyone's weekend?

Mine was splendid. Very relaxing and full of good weather.

This weekend I became very grateful for my wheels and also for the express lanes in Seattle.

President Obama was in town, and traffic went crazier than normal.

The highways were blocked off, on ramps & exits closed, overpasses barricaded, etc.

Combine that with a Husky game, a Seahawks game, and Oktoberfest, and what do you get?

Mass hysteria.

Anyways. I became very very grateful for my little car, Charlie, and for not having to navigate the crazy changes to all major bus routes.

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I was also extremely grateful for the express lanes that got us home from church for our Sunday naps in a jiffy.

We passed the presidential motorcade on the way and I thought it was kinda cool, until I saw all the havoc it was wreaking upon every other motorist in the city.

Anyways, the rest of the weekend was fabulous, and our little gender-reveal cake was delivered to us yesterday evening. We will be boarding a plane with it today, and flying with it down to Salt Lake to meet up with my wonderful family. We will then be able to tell the world our exciting news!

I seriously cannot wait.

I have been antsy for two weeks waiting for this trip!

I will be taking a week-long hiatus from the blogosphere while we are away attending my brother's wedding.

I'm radiating glee right now. Its tangible.

Also, Peanut got the hiccups for the first time on Friday. It was the coolest feeling!

I love getting those physical reminders that there is really a baby in there.

And then, last night, I felt a really strong kick on my right side, and was able to feel it on my hand, and not just inside! Hubby will be able to feel his baby move for the first time this week, and I can't wait to see the look on his face.

Day 15- Happy Friday!

2011-09-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, we made it through another week.

And that is something to be proud of, because it was quite the week!

Did it last abnormally long for anyone else?

Just curious.

But my Friday was a wonderful (and welcome) end.

I fiiiiiinally found some honey butter in this city.

I went to four different stores and called at least twice that many.

It was definitely enough to satisfy my craving, and I could have bathed myself in it, but I refrained.

I also got to spend the evening with some lovely friends- both new and old- on a rooftop with a beautiful view of the city. It was quite the magical night! And I was grateful for clear skies and good company.

One of my friends has this NASA app on her iPad that lets you view the night sky and it labels the constellations for you. How cool is that? (It may have been cooler if we could have figured out how to work it correctly, but eh, whatevs.)

When was the last time you looked at the stars?

I am so grateful for those glorious little balls of gas and light!

I am grateful for the sense of mortality & humility they give me- reminding us all how small and young we really are.

A source of inspiration, wonder, dreams, and wishes.

I am grateful to still be holding onto the firm belief I have that when I wish upon a star my dreams come true. I believe this because it worked for me and one of my wishes did come true.

I hope yours do, too.

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Happy Weekend, Friends!

Day 14

2011-09-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

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What a lovely day today was!

Despite a few hiccups (Hubbs and I are still trying to master the art of coordinating schedules-

its soooo frustrating!!!),

we were still able to spend the evening with our friends Eddie and Chelsea for "French Night".

Instead of having a French lesson, however, we opted to watch a bizarre French film, called "Ricky", where this baby sprouts wings and flies away. hahahaha- yes, it was as interesting as it sounds!

I love spending time with those two, and watching Justin's antics as he plays with their cat.

It seems my nerdy husband has an affinity for all things fluffy.

I always come away having had a few really good belly laughs.

In other news, I have been craving honeybutter for the past 24 hours and I haven't been able to make it to the store for a fix as of yet. I was tempted to leave the apartment at about 1:30am last night just to pick some up.

I almost woke Justin up. Almost.

But he worked a grave the night before, so I decided to be kind and let him sleep.

The pregnant, crazy woman inside has not yet succeeded in taking me over.

This is the most intense craving I've had yet and I'm practically drooling on myself just thinking about it, as I sit here at my desk, powerless to do anything about it.

I NEED HONEYBUTTER!!!!!!!!!!! Like stat.

Day 13

2011-09-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful for modern technology!

I LOVE ultraound check-ups because we get to see our Peanut!

And wouldn't you know it?

I was right. There is a baby growing in there.

The CUTEST little feet I ever did see...

Since I am in my 20th week now, we can finally find out the gender.

But- we are going to wait until we're with family next week to do the big reveal :)

So, for now, here is a photo of Peanut's little feet- my favorite from the lot.

I am happy to report that everything looks normal,

and I am especially grateful today to know that Peanut is healthy and safe and growing-

even if it still just looks like I've been eating a few too many cookies these days.

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Day 12

2011-09-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

Today (which is now yesterday) I am so SO grateful for a husband who is willing to be a team-player and cook sometimes.

I got home from work, and Hubby was already in the kitchen making dinner.

Its pretty much the best thing ever.

He also finally sat down with me to go over our budget.

I am such a planner that it freaks me out to have any sort of uncertainty about our future, and well,

with a baby on the way and going from two incomes to one, you could say I have a mild panic about it.

So that was nice.

He also got up with me this morning and made breakfast.

For those of you who don't know, Justin is the breakfast king.

I love being able to sit with him in the morning, not rushing, and just gearing up for the day.

Its heavenly.

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P.S.- The shoulder rub he gave me was also heavenly.

Oh Baby, I'm so glad I'm having babies with you.

Day 11

2011-09-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for Chinese take-out.

And kind friends.

And random hang-outs.

My darling friend, Alyssa, called me yesterday and we made plans for after work.

It was so well-timed because I wasn't feeling well and was planning on leaving work early, but it gave me something to look forward to. Some days I still get sick and I'm not sure why. Its just one of the mysteries of pregnancy. She was kind enough to drop me off at my door-step instead of driving around to find parking with her, because the combination of Chinese food smells and start-stop-looking-for-parking-action was doing a number on my stomach.

But the Chinese food was oh-so-tasty.

And having friends in our apartment, filling it with laughter, makes it a home.

Thank you for the wonderful evening, Alyssa.

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And now, its about time for a Peanut update!

My bump hasn't gotten much bigger from the first picture I posted, so I haven't been very good about taking pictures- not a lot to see, I guess. People keep asking me how far along I am, and when they find out I'm five months pregnant and always say, "You're so small!". I doubt that, but I guess its mostly the bump they're talking about. However, this week has been fun because I've been able to distinguish those distinct baby movements that can no longer be simply passed off as digestion. Its kind of fun to feel the little kicks and jabs, and depending on how I'm sitting, I can feel the baby somersault :).

People always ask about the weird food cravings, and so here is a short list of things I've been loving:

(First Trimester I craved spicy cheetos. Probably the worst thing you could ever ingest, I know, but for some reason they did the trick. Don't judge me.)

Lately, I've been loving:

-nectarines

-green olives

-red meat

-clam chowder

-yogurt

I can't eat the same meal twice in row, though, or it sounds like the most revolting thing ever. But I'm going to brave the Chinese food left-overs for lunch today because I'm trying to stop spending money on food other than groceries! Food is the biggest expense, after rent, that Husband and I have. Not surprising.

Days 8-10

2011-09-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for fun, busy weekends!

For time spent and meals shared with friends.
(Namely Morgan, Megan and Mitch.)

And free tickets to the theater with my girlfriends.

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And adventures at the Puyallup Fair (despite the rain).

And a lucky husband who wins me a dust-buster in a game of BINGO.

And rooftop vegetable gardens that are still yielding plentifully,
despite colder than normal temps in Seattle.

Hope you all had wonderful weekends, too!

Day 7

2011-09-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry this Day 7 post is late.

I had too many things keeping my hands busy (and away from the computer) last night!

Namely:

-Shopping sales for baby clothes

-Greeting friends and playing games at Kirsten's baby shower

-Eating LOTS of ice cream at said shower

-AND...learning how to KNIT!
Yes, dear friends, I am learning the craft of knitting. :)
I hope to be able to knit a couple things for Peanut by the time he/she arrives.

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Today I am grateful for hands.

(...and also for friends and loved ones who are willing to share their patience and expertise with me...)

As a child, my wonderful Mother encouraged me to have hobbies, and nurtured them.

I learned how to cross stitch because a friend of hers, who worked at the library with her,

found out I was interested and put a little kit together for me as a birthday gift.

I still have the flowery tin it came in.

I also learned calligraphy because I hoped that my handwriting would someday be as beautiful as my Mother's and Grandmother's. Grandma was a school teacher, and had immaculate penmanship. And Mom said she learned hers by copying Grandma's.

Well, my handwriting is definitely not as immaculate as either of theirs, but I can sure whip out a pretty letter if I get out my calligraphy pens and ink.

But, back to the hands.

I am so grateful for four fingers and an opposable thumb on each hand.

For the ability to do things for myself and learn new skills.

For the sensation of touching and holding.

One of our engagement photos, 2010

For all of the wonderful things they represent:

-healing & blessings

-cleansing & cleaning

-prayer

-giving & receiving gifts

-grasping & understanding

-helping & lending a hand

-lifting

I have always considered a person's hands to be the thing that tells me the most about their character. You can get a feeling about a person's soul from looking into their eyes, but its the hands that reveal what kind of a life they lead. I have always loved my parents' hands. My Father's hands are thick and muscled, calloused and scarred, but clean. He always has immaculately clean hands. I remember one particular scar he got across the top of one hand while working with some wire in front of our old house. I was either watching or pretending to help, and the wire sliced him open across a vein. I had to run inside and find a "butterfly" band-aid. That was the first time I'd ever heard that term and it always reminds me of him.

I remember examining my Mother's hands in church almost every Sunday. Envying her long, pretty nails, and dreaming of the days when mine would grow. Taking off and playing with her wedding rings. Examining the deep marks they left on her finger after years of wearing them. Looking at the soft blue veins through the thin, pale skin on top. Feeling the softness of her palms.

And I remember holding my Grandmother's hands and examining them during her last days. Comparing her hands to mine, and feeling like she'd passed her hands to my Mother and down to me. Smoothing them and comforting them. She held on tight, even though she couldn't speak, and I treasure that memory.

How wonderful to have hands!

They really are miraculous gifts and I am grateful for mine.

Day 6

2011-09-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

Today was another crazy day, but Justin and I were both in high spirits.

We were laughing and joking with each other all evening. It was so much fun!

We went out to dinner and got Korean bbq- yum. As we were in the elevator on the way back to our apartment, we were still laughing and I really had to go (ahhh the constantly full bladder of the pregnant woman)!

Justin decided it would be funny to tickle me and try to get me to wet myself, but as he proceeded to do so, I lost all control of my arms, and instead of pushing him away, as intended, I caught his lip with my hand and cut his lip open with one of my nails!

Horror and hilarity insued as we were both laughing hysterically and then realized that he was bleeding!

I felt awful, but kind of not, because he had been trying to get me to pee my pants and I spasmed. I cannot be held responsible for my actions when in the midst of a tickle.

I proceeded to try and nurse him. He proceeded to pout. I proceeded to do the dishes.

And then a wonderful thing happened.

On a whim, I opened my old journal and started reading about when Justin and I first started dating.

When he came to bed, I started reading it out loud and we were back to hysterics over the ridiculous things I wrote about him.

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I am so grateful today for my journal.

There are some things we prefer not to remember from our pasts, and one of these days, I'll have to edit it, I'm sure. But everything I wrote after Justin and I began dating is precious to me. Those collective memories that were brought back to both of us- including practically the entire dialogue from the night we first said, "I love you," is recorded.

Those memories are more precious than gold, and I am so thankful to have them recorded so we can still laugh about them at our 50th wedding anniversary, long after our memories have started to fail us.

I'm grateful for an inspired church leadership who encouraged me to keep a journal. What a wonderful companion it has been to me throughout the years. My journal has been named 'Toby' for as long as I can remember. I don't know why I chose that name- I think I wanted to name a dog that at one point- but it was always nice to feel like I was writing to someone, rather than in something.

If you do not journal, I would encourage you to start.

This blog has become my new journal, and I need to be more committed to recording all of the wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) things that happen to me. Writing in my journal was so cathartic throughout my teen-angst years, and I am so glad to be past that. I don't feel the need to vent and rant in a journal the way I used to. But I want to have a record of this new phase of my life.

My journal is one of my most prized possessions, and it has always been one of my Top Three Things I'd Rescue From My House If It Were On Fire list.

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Day 5

2011-09-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

Today was so busy with work and errands that I've not had time to just sit and reflect on the things I'm thankful for! I am considering that a blessing in and of itself.
I am grateful that my husband and I have good jobs, the means to provide for ourselves, and the pride that a productive day of work and a good paycheck bring with them.
What a wonderful blessing it is that both of us are gainfully employed in this time of economic hardship.

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I am truly grateful for this. And I know it will be hard for me to have to stop working once the baby comes. We've decided that I'm going to stay at home for as long as possible with the little one, because child care in Seattle is ridiculously expensive. I would be working just to pay someone to watch our child, and that makes no sense. My pride is already feeling little twinges because I know I will hate not having my own, hard-earned money to spend. It maybe sounds weird, but it will take some getting used to. Knowing that I'm working just as hard to care for our family as Husband will be to provide for it. But there is a grand design in that, as well. We both have a lot of changes coming.
So, I'm taking new pride in every paycheck I get, and I'm working a couple extra hours every week to help reduce our debts so we have less of a burden on one paycheck.

And so, to ease our minds, and pack up all our cares and woe,

here is one of my favorite songs of all time.

Day 4

2011-09-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

I feel a little guilty that I didn't post anything about 9-11 yesterday, but I hope you all had a wonderful day celebrating life and living, and the time you've been given. I sure did!

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Today I am grateful for a home.

I walk through a large park on my way to and from work every weekday, and it is a favorite spot for the homeless to find a bench or a patch of grass to curl up on.

Seattle (and I think a lot of the big cities in the northwest) are pretty renowned for their transient populations.

This city is pretty homeless-friendly, and you can't help but see them everywhere you go.

I have to kind of tune it out because I'm a bleeding heart and would love to give money to everyone who asks, but well, you just can't.

This morning as I was walking through the park, observing these men with newspaper strewn beneath them, I noticed one man in particular. He looked like he had it together- hair cut, fully clothed, etc. But he was just sitting on one of the cement architectural blocks in the park, staring pensively in front of him. I began to wonder about him... Where did he come from? Did he choose this circumstance, as some do? What is he thinking about? Was this a recent change in his life due to some misfortune with the economy?

I felt my heart go out to him and I reflected on my own circumstances.

I am so grateful to have a roof over my head. A place to come home to.

A sanctuary from the rest of the world.

Growing up, I just always remember music playing in our home- whether it was me or one of my siblings practicing piano, or whether it was some Beatles album or other CD someone had put into the stereo. For some reason, home and music have always been synonymous in my head.

I so look forward to filling my home with music in the same way.

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Here is a happy Monday-song to get you through the week!

Days 2 & 3

2011-09-11T21:43:00.000-07:00

This weekend I'm grateful for time.

I'm grateful for the time I got to spend with my family and friends.

And I'm grateful for the luxury of spending time by myself without having to worry about what anyone else wants to do but me. I'm trying to savor this time alone because after this baby comes, I'm sure that won't happen again for a very long time.

On Saturday I was able to get some shopping done, meet up with my brother-in-law and our cousin and walk around the Market and downtown. And I was also able to go to dinner with my dear friend, Alyssa. I love spending time with people I find so funny, interesting, and enjoyable to be around.

I am also grateful for a well-stocked kitchen because on Saturday morning, instead of going out to buy a coffee and something for breakfast like other people, I had a rummage around my pantry and decided to make fresh nectarine scones and tea.

I was quite proud of myself and the money I saved by being industrious.
I found this recipe quite delicious.

I picked Husband up from the airport last night and we spent time with our brother and cousin, staying up waaaaay past our bedtimes (12:30! what?!), and laughing a lot.

This morning it was hard to get out of bed for church, but we managed, and instead of being late for our meeting, we ended up being 40 minutes early for our stake conference! We have been out of town the past couple weekends and didn't know this was coming, so it was a pleasant surprise to be able to get nice, comfy seats near the front for a change. I might have to make that a habit.

We had our brother, cousin, sister and her boyfriend over for a lunch of tuna sandwiches, lemonade, and fresh tomatoes from our garden, and ate outside on our building's rooftop terrace. It was shaded from the sun by the apartment building, so it was nice and cool. It was actually hot in Seattle today, people! Gorgeous and sunny all weekend. I am in heaven.

I love lazy, but somehow productive, weekends like this.
Oh, how I am grateful for weekends!

...and naps. I'm savoring those too...

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Attitude of Gratitude- Day 1

2011-09-09T18:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader-Friends,

Thank you for all of the love you've been sending my (our) way lately!

I really enjoy your comments and its so nice to feel the strength of your positive vibes and prayers.

So, thank you! x

Many of you may remember my 60-Day project that I began in the aftermath of a wedding, a major move, and a job-hunt. It was very invigorating for me, and I know some of you appreciated it much more than my randomness... which, well, is never really going to go away. My apologies, but I'm okay with that :).

In celebration of that, I am going to start a new project.

A 60-Day Attitude of Gratitude

Now, I really should make this a 365-Day project, because we should be grateful for every single day we have on this Earth, but 60 just seems more do-able. I keep hearing stories in the news or from friends and acquaintances that remind me of just how precious life is and how precious our relationships with the people we love are.

(This song gets my waterworks going every time!)

So the project begins today.

A pic I snapped while we were dating. Isn't he a hunk?

Today I am grateful for my Husband.

He is out of town, kicking butt and taking names, at a convention this week.

Whenever he is gone I realize how much I miss sleeping beside him (in spite of the snoring),

and waking up next to him. Its such a comfort to have those big, safe arms within snuggle-distance.

I don't think he really knows how much I depend on him. I take such pride in being a strong, independent woman, but over the past year I have learned the depth of human emotions I didn't really know existed.

We have begun the process of melding our lives, hearts, and souls, and now I really believe the "wholeness" I used to feel as a person has morphed into a new sense of the word, and comes from being part of a unit with him. He keeps me sane. He calms me down when I'm impassioned. We can talk about anything. He is my favorite person to dream with and about.

I love picturing where we're going to be in 10, 20, 50... 100 years from now. I know I'll still get that feeling when I catch a glimpse of him doing something dorky or mundane and I'll still find it sexy.

I'm grateful that we can sit around the house naked, and still be totally open and comfortable with each other.

(And I'm grateful to have the feeling that we'll be looking forward to doing that again once all the kids have grown up and flown the coop.)

I'm grateful for his strong work ethic, even when it means I have to wait around for 20 min when I'm picking him up, because it means he's lending a helpful hand, or open ear, or going the extra mile in some way.

I'm grateful for every small compliment he pays me because I know he really means it.

I'm grateful he took that step into the unknown with me, and has been willing to learn with me through this first year. We've faced so many challenges, from both internal and external sources, but we're still fighting side by side, and taking things in stride as they come.

I'm grateful for his positive attitude.

And I'm grateful for his love. Its a daily gift that I hope to never take for granted.

I love you, JPM.

Always and forever.

Worry

2011-09-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

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I've been having trouble sleeping.

Peanut is growing bigger every day, and so is my baby bump.

And so is my worry.

Here is the back-story, so you can have more insight into why:

Some of you know, and many of you do not, that I was born with an umbilical hernia.

This is very common, and usually it goes away by itself. Mine never did. But I was a strong, active child and I was a ballerina for most of my life. The summer after graduation, and after I'd stopped dancing as much, I felt something change. I went to the doc and he said I needed to have it repaired, but not to worry, it was an out-patient procedure. They would make a small incision in my belly button and could repair it quickly.

Au contraire. The one had turned into three over the course of my 18 years, and the small incision turned into a 4" incision (but I'm a good healer, so its just a white line now). The problem arose from the hour or anesthesia turning into 3+ hours of anesthesia. And who was to know it, but I am allergic.

From the second I awoke in the recovery room , I was violently ill. (Have you ever thrown up- over and over- with a freshly operated abdominal wall? Think of the worse ab soreness you've ever had. Multiply that by 100. Then proceed to imagine involuntary flexing, or someone tickling you, until you vomit. Not fun.)

They kept an eye on me for the next couple hours until I'd "stabilized" enough to make it through the car ride home. I could not sit or stand or even walk on my own. I could not go up the steps to the front door, so we had to shuffle me (and by shuffle, I mean I was doubled over, gripping my stomach to hold it in place so as to try to minimize movement and thus pain) around the house, through the yard to the basement door and down the hall to the guest bedroom where I would stay for a week before being able to make it slowly up the stairs.

I was so ill I couldn't keep anything down. Not food, not water, not pain meds. It was excruciating. My mom spent hours on the phone with the nurses, arguing about needing to readmit me and getting "helpful tips" so that I could retain enough liquid I wouldn't need an IV. My doctor had left on vacation after my surgery, so he was no help. Long story short, it was the most painful week of my life, but I lived through it. I even went on a study abroad to Germany a couple months later and spent a year there.

I came home the next summer and felt like there was still something wrong with my stomach, so we went back to the doctor. He examined me, and it turned out that because of all the violent retching I'd done the first go-round, I had ripped out my stitches and the repair had not healed correctly- read: the hernias had not been repaired. Ergo, we scheduled another surgery, but this one was to be done laparoscopically, and they would install mesh underneath my muscle wall to keep things in place. I was mad, I was nervous, I was scared to do it again. They said this was to be an outpatient surgery, as well, but they would keep me overnight to monitor me. I ended up staying for three days. With a morphine drip. The doctor and nurses were all slightly appalled and amazed that I had gone home the first time. I was too.

So, here I am. Eight years later. And my eggo is preggo.

I've had a bunch of consultations with various doctors over the years and all of them have said I should be able to have normal pregnancies and normal deliveries. But I still worry.

My stomach stretches a little more each day, and I know I'll have to have another repair/more repairs done in the future, but my current doc said to wait until after we're done having all of our children. I'm ok with postponing those procedures. I have this odd feeling that giving birth will be easier than recovering from those surgeries.

I have faith. I'm putting my trust and faith in the Creator of all of this, and I know there is a plan I'm just not aware of yet. I pray nightly and I know that I'll be lead to take the steps that will keep me and Peanut healthy and strong. So I try to focus more on that and less on the worry. Worry doesn't get you anywhere, anyways.

Source

I've also been listening to this song a lot lately. I just love it. I think I'll learn it on the guitar as a lullaby for Peanut- what do you think?

Woman of the Future

2011-09-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

My darling friend, Elisa, posted this a couple of weeks ago and I just love it so much that I have to re-post it.

"The woman of the future, who is really being born today, will be a woman completely free of guilt for creating and for self-development. She will be a woman in harmony with her own strength, not necessarily called masculine or eccentric or something unnatural. I imagine she will be very tranquil about her strength and her serenity, a woman who will know how to talk to children and to the men who sometimes fear her... The woman of the future will never try to live vicariously through the man, and urge and push him to despair, to fulfill something that she should really be doing herself. So that is my first image -- she is not aggressive, she is serene, she is sure, she is confident, she is able to develop her skills, she is able to ask for space for herself."

Anais Nin, 1976, quoted in this article.

Source
I just love this.

(You can view Elisa's post here.)

Shot Through the Heart!

2011-08-31T13:30:00.000-07:00

Or into the belly, rather....

This week I started daily injections of blood thinners.

I have been going into my doctor for blood tests the past couple weeks, and we found out I'm at high risk for blood clots. So I have to give myself daily injections throughout my pregnancy...and for six weeks after I deliver. Bummer.

Justin freaked-out because he's worried, but I am not too upset, oddly enough.

Darling, let me count (y)our blessings:

-You have a great job through which we both have health insurance

-Said insurance is amazing and makes the medication super affordable

($1,200 turns into $10? yes, please.)

-You do not have to inject me, cause I'm a tough cookie

-And now the Baby and I are both likely to be safe

Let me tell you, though. I was SO nervous the first time I did it. I read the instructions instead of making another appointment to be shown how to do it
(cause I'm a working girl, people! no time!).
There I stood, shirt raised, alcohol swabbed, needle poised...
Deep breath.
Poke.
Internal monologue: "Ok, not bad. Not bad. I got this."
Inject.
"Oop... Not quite deep enough, but that'll have to do, cause I'm not poking myself again."
"Ouch! Ouch! It burns?! No one told me that!!! Freak!"

Haha. The second night went better, and I'm sure by the end of the week, I'll be an old pro.

Poking the needle (which is about 3/4" long) is not a big deal at all. I barely feel that.

But the stuff I'm injecting burns and smarts quite fiercely as it goes in and for about 3 min afterwards.
(No fun.)

Oddly enough, my grimace last night sort of turned into a smile as I pulled the needle out and rubbed the skin.

It made me feel kind of powerful and healthy.
The realization that I can do something I was kind of scared... ok really scared...to do makes me feel tough.
I can do this. And its keeping me and the baby both healthy, so its all worth it.
The pay off will be WAY bigger than any of these small sacrifices I'm making now.

Sometimes

2011-08-30T14:25:00.000-07:00

I get so restless to do crafty things and I feel so frustrated that I don't have the space or a garage in which to paint my things I want painted...

And then I get humbled by DIY-ers with more brains than me

when I find posts like this one from Caitlin Wilson Design.

She was able to paint an entire table on a piece of cardboard in her kitchen.

Um, duh.

And then I, too, could have adorable tables like this.

...But considering the bun in the oven, I should probably leave the painting to my Hubbs for the moment.

Remember When?

2011-08-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.

I just read through one of my old posts about our wedding weekend (read it here), and its amazing how quickly you forget the little details! Its been less than a year!

I am so glad I took the time to write all of the small details down.

This realization has made me want to really re-commit to this blog-
I've even scheduled a blog re-vamp for October!

I want to remember these day-to-day moments and always keep the right perspective,

realizing that our life together is so good!

So, Darling Peanut, I am writing this to you:

We are so excited to really start planning for you. We can't wait to find out if we need to buy pink or blue accessories... :)

This week I am going to schedule the ultrasound appointment where we will find out your gender.

Your Daddy and I both think you will be a girl, but lately I've been having dreams where you are a boy, so I really have no idea anymore! You started showing in my tummy last week and I am so proud of the little gift I have growing inside of me, that I consciously poke my tummy out a little further than normal to show you off when we're in public together. Since you are our first, I am trying to live in the moment and savor all the time I have to just enjoy carrying you with me, without another baby distracting me (which will probably be your toddler self upon the next pregnancy...but lets not get ahead of ourselves!). I rub my stomach and talk to you almost every night, and have been humming "You Are My Sunshine" to you. I even learned it on the guitar. I hope it will calm you to sleep some night in the future when you're being fussy, and remind me of these days.
We are (mostly) patiently waiting for you...

Source

Finally! My Humps.

2011-08-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

My lovely little lumps.

Check it out:

Finally showing at 15 (almost 16) weeks!

Hoorah for maternity clothes and goodbye to rubber-banding my infernal jeans!

Birthday Week

2011-08-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

What a delightful week we've had!

And unfortunately there have been hardly any pictures to document it.

BUT

We did sleep in a lot,

My husband, family and friends did get me lovely presents,

Birthday spoils!

Hubby also made me breakfast,

And took me out to dinner,

Peach Cobbler at Toulouse Petit in Queen Anne

And we did meet up with a bunch of dear friends to bowl, shoot pool and photo booth it up!

Bowling at the Garage- Bonnie, Megan, Me

We also got to go down to Oregon this past weekend and raft the Deschutes River with our cousins.

This has been a yearly tradition for Hubby's family, but this was the first year we have gone together.

It was such a blast!

We drove down on Thursday night,

left around 6am on Friday morning,

rafted all day, body-surfed some waterfall slides & picnicked at a beach.

The crazy cousins (my Hubbs included) then jumped off a 50 foot cliff into the river,

(I refrained due to our little Peanut)

And then we finished the day with some class 4s

and had burgers and milkshakes around 10 when we got off the river.

The 2.5 hour drive home was brutal!

We spent Saturday recovering, and drinking LOTS of water.

I was able to attend a bridal shower for one of the cousins who's getting married next weekend,

while Hubbs went to see Planet of the Apes with the boys.

Sunday brought a family day and a HUGE dinner with about 30 family members

for another of the cousins' birthdays.

We spent the evening cruising around the farmland and surrounding woods,

racing the mule and ranger in circles and laughing and screaming our heads off.

It was so hard to leave!

We drove back last night and I can't wait to go back again!

Featured!

2011-08-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

Looky looky...

Our wedding is the featured "Real Wedding" this week

on the Project Wedding blog!

Click here to see all it.

This day was such a happy start to our married journey.

Thank you to the talented Kristopher Orr for capturing it so beautifully.

2011-08-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

Epiphany:

The more sure people are of themselves,

and the fact that they have all the right answers,

the surer I become

that they are all asking

the wrong questions.

Garden Victory!

2011-08-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I (we) created life!

Yes, we made a baby.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

We planted our very first garden this year and it is really starting to go wild!

And we did it in record low temps and rain!!!!

Forgive me if I dance a little.

We planted it on the rooftop of our apartment building in a little raised plot.

Just call me Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary. But there are no cockle shells in this garden. No.

We planted:

3 tomato plants (1 Early Girl, 2 Romas)

Bell Pepper

Cucumbers (which right now are the cutest little things you ever did see)

Basil

Chives

5 rows of Carrots

1 row of Beets

1 row of Marigolds (because they're so friendly)

I can't wait to post pics of our bountiful harvest...
But, in the meantime, here is my dream of what our someday garden will look like:

Source

*If you haven't already, you should join Pinterest and follow me. I'll return the favor. :)

I truly believe,

2011-07-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

and always will,

that Gwen Stefani and I would be best friends.

Its amazing how many times I've listened to her albums on repeat,

and how many times the songs have taken on new meaning for me throughout the years.

So much changes from age 13 to age 26.

Gwen, in some other reality,

you and I grew up around the corner from one another,

had crushes on the same boys, climbed trees, scraped our shins,

came home with dirt under our fingernails, painted said fingernails wild colors,

and ran through sprinklers together.

And you wrote this song because of a conversation we had on my porch,

in the middle of the night, about why we kept getting our hearts broken

over and over again:

"For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife

I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?

I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life"

And now we laugh about how dumb we were, and how perfectly everything turned out.

Birthday Wishes

2011-07-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

If I had a birthday coming up, some of the things I might want to buy me would be:

1. A digital SLR like this:

Credit

2. A real purty watch like this:

Credit

3. An L Letterpress kit like this:

Credit

4. A bouquet of peonies like this:

Credit

5. And I really love these:

Credit

6. An overnight hiking/camping trip to someplace like this:

Credit

7. Annnnnd not to be greedy, but I really really want one of these:

Yup.

Stronger

2011-07-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

This is my current mantra:

"Ce qui ne me tue pas me rend plus fort."

"Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker."

"What Does Not Kill Me, Makes Me Stronger."

Courtesy

I really have been doing a lot of thinking lately about the type of person I am now, and the type of person I would hope to be once this baby is born.

Its weird to be telling people I'm pregnant, without really believing it myself. I mean, other than the morning sickness (poisoning), and the occasional irrational mood swing, there aren't very many physical manifestations. I don't really have a "bump" yet, and there is no way to peer inside to check how the baby's a-cookin' , like the window on the front of an oven. Without being able to get an ultrasound whenever I want, the daily reality of "pregnancy" just feels like I have a bad stomach flu I can't seem to shake.

So, like I tend to do, I worry- not about the baby, cause who knows what that little prune-sized sea monkey is getting up to down there- I'm selfishly concerned with myself. What is this going to do to my body? Am I ready to be a mom? Will I actually be able to stay at home like we've planned? Am I responsible enough to care for a defenseless human glow-worm that will become a hyper-active toddler, and then a sassy teenager? And I mull* things over in my mind until my brain is basically pulverized and I freak out.

Useless worrying aside, J and I are starting to settle into the realization that we will now have to be "responsible adults", but to be honest, we really have no idea what that entails. Its just a sort of ethereal idea at this point...

So, I've started to settle into more of a routine of starting to cook right when I get home- not even sitting down first. I sit at work all day, so it feels nice to be up and proactive and creative again. Creating yummy foods for the man I love and nourishing our little Peanut, as well as myself, feels like the best way to unwind. Especially since the weather is crappy (omg!itsSOOOOcrappy...forreals...SeattleisaBIGblackhole... whinewhinemoan... ImightdieifIdon'tgetsomevitaminDsoon)
and I feel cooped-up inside anyways. Might as well be doing something right?

And last night we had our first real Family Home Evening. I cooked a yummy dinner of pork loin wrapped in zucchini, topped with fresh pesto (from the basil plant in our garden!), tomato and mozzarella.

Credit & Recipe- from a blog w/ a great name *wink

And I made cheesy broccoli rice for a side. Then I made a quick batch of nectarine-apple crisp and threw it in the oven to bake while we watched a video about budgeting. We opened and closed with a prayer to make it official. So yes, its nerdy, but it felt so right and normal and it was the start of many more to come. I want Peanut to be born into a family that eats together, plays together, and learns together. Adding that one weekly routine is such a great jumping-off place!

Taking these first baby steps (no pun intended) is the best way to alleviate my growing paranoid mulling. I just can't stop, because if I stop I might as well be dead. And even though its hard to keep moving, it is inevitably making me stronger, and in turn strengthening our little family.

*to mull:

transitive verb

1: to grind or mix thoroughly : pulverize

2: to consider at length : ponder —often used with over

Is life a highway? Or is it more like Oregon Trail?

2011-07-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, Dear Friends.

So I feel like kind of a bum for just posting exciting news yesterday, and now posting a state-of-my-life address, that is well, less than exciting news.
However, this is reality.
And since I find typing much less conducive to the wrist-cramping that comes with scribbling furiously in my journal, this is what happens.

Here goes.

So, we're having a baby! YAY!

With that baby comes extremely crazy hormones and sickness.
Some male doctor shall be cursed for the rest of time and eternity by all pregnant women who have experienced "morning sickness" because of the unfairness of that title. If it was only in the morning, that would be a blessing. As it is, that name is totally inaccurate. It is 24-7, waves of attacking nausea, that can be induced by anything; from turning over in your sleep, to waking up in the morning, from walking down a hill, to smelling anything and everything with a biting clarity that makes the nostrils burn (and you don't want to inhale, because fumes and second hand smoke, and whatever type of cologne he/she applied too liberally could harm the baby). So you hold your breath, and that makes you nauseous. Even sitting & standing, looking at a tv/computer screen, turning your head too fast, and reading can all bring it on.

More than anything else, however, elevators have become an implement of torture, which I must endure 2x per day, 5x per week.

And since my mother reports that she never experienced the "sickness", I thought I was seriously poisoned for two weeks.

Ergo, after a particularly violent episode this morning, and not being able to recover or ingest anything from water to crackers, I am home from work three hours after I went in.

Credit

So, it been happening for 9 weeks now, and according to most sources, I get to enjoy it for another 7. Delight!

I should be grateful that I can function basically normally, though. I can generally keep down enough food and fluids that Baby is growing right on schedule. I'm still hoping I've been able to give Him/Her the right nutrients, as prenatal vits are the worst.

Alright, I had planned on writing more, my my stomach just flipped, so you know what that means. Its hard to blog when looking at this laptop makes me queasy...(there's nothing "easy" about it).

More to come.

News

2011-07-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

I'll give you three clues:

1. Ours will arrive in February.

2. This song describes me perfectly:

(Go ahead and skip to 3:05 for ultimate hilarity)

3. And its about the size of a grape right now.

(***thank you to Jessica for submitting this amazingly accurate portrayal)

Re-Lease

2011-06-06T23:34:00.000-07:00

(This is an OLD post- from back in April- that I misplaced and didn't publish... but here it is.)
***

Today we filled out applications for, and put the deposit down, on a new apartment! We kind of just stumbled into this opportunity, but after studying our finances and our situation, we decided that this was right for us. I'm so thrilled to move into an apartment with more than one room!

AND one with a view of the city... heck yes.

I've been having a couple of debbie-downer weeks lately (these endless gray, Seattle days start to wear on you after a while... even if its not raining), and I've been trying to re-commit to the things I know that help my faith and hope grow. Just watching for inspriation has helped open my eyes to some interesting reminders that I'm never alone and hopeless.

I was riding the bus and we passed something called the Traugott Building. I'd never noticed it before, but it made me smile. I speak fluent German (kudos to me), and "Traugott" is a rough, American translation of "Traue Gott", or "trust in God". I had to give a little "amen" shout out to the Man Upstairs for that.

Toy Bus

Then another day, riding the bus, after a particularly fun incident of getting a middle finger shoved in my face, and cursed at colorfully for no reason (literally just sitting there, minding my P's and Q's), a woman across the aisle, said, "Yeah!" to me and proceeded to laugh with me at the absurdity of it all. God bless that stranger for helping me turn an offensive happening into a funny story.

(Did I mention how much I hate the bus? I cannot WAIT to stop riding once we've moved! Did I further mention that I will be able to WALK to work? Yes, indeed...)

I've been blessed to have a healthy, strong enough body to be able to take drop-in ballet classes after a five year hiatus! It is seemingly awkward going right now as I'm trying to teach my old muscles how to do something they once knew and loved again, but its coming back. (Nothing like riding a bicycle, but there you have it.)

And work has become less mundane with the addition of interesting conversation during lunch and the occasional instant message. I am still looking for other jobs that will suit me better (I'm not really a corporate type of personality), but this will do in the meantime. And I am so so SO grateful to be gainfully employed right now, when there are so many less fortunate than I.

So, there is my short stack of a gratitude list. I keep adding to it mentally and thanking those responsible. I continue to learn how key gratitude is in creating real happiness.

Renascence

2011-06-06T23:02:00.000-07:00

I just serendipitously rediscovered a woman whom I'd had a curiosity about from passing whispers of her name, here and there. I delved a little deeper this evening and discovered one of her first poems.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Renascence"

This poem touched me in a way I haven't felt in some time. Maybe it was the excitement of getting my hands dirty and planting our garden this weekend, or maybe it was due to this being the third day of sunshine in row in Seattle, or perhaps the delicious meals I ate al fresco today (lunch at Seatown, down at the Market, & dinner at St. Cloud's with Hubby), or the drive around the lake at sunset with the windows rolled down. Maybe it was all three.

But it really was a renascence for me; "a revival of something that has been dormant."

If you have never heard of this talented woman, nor read this poem, I encourage you to begin now.

Set five minutes aside and welcome summer and renewal into your soul.

(Click on the poem title above the picture for a link to the full text.)

Apology

2011-06-04T20:55:00.000-07:00

DEar bLoG,

I am SoRry ThaT I've BEeN NegLEctINg YOu.

I HavE BeEn sPendIng All mY TiMe ON PinTErEsT.

wIlL PosT aGAiN SoOn...

LOvE,


Sanctuary

Good Reads

2011-05-10T00:38:00.000-07:00

I just wrote my first book review on Goodreads!

I am in love with this website. I will have to add it to my list of favorites :)

Its right up there with Pinterest- which I'm incredibly addicted to!

My husband is always asking me:

"What are you doing? Are you on that pinny-posty thing again? ...whatever its called..."

If you are not already a member of these sites, join me.

(see how its kind of a command now?)

And here's a capture of my review... to entice you...

Normal Mormons

2011-05-07T11:25:00.001-07:00

Hahaha I LOVE this guy! I feel like he is so relatable, and it makes me feel glad that my husband and I are not the only normal-abnormal Mormons out there :)

Redefining Apathy

2011-05-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

This video expresses exactly my frustration with our modern political systems & my desire to inform people and create real change- worldwide! Its so simply put, that it rings true. I especially loved his anecdote about how heroes are portrayed in our society! The choice and ability to become a leader comes from within us, not from some external calling. Its only 7 min, and so worth the time.
I love TED. Do you?

Hotel Shampoo

2011-03-25T00:23:00.000-07:00

I got a total kick out of this. Check out his music, as well ---> Gruff Rhys

Vivian Maier

2011-03-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

This is one of the coolest things I've com across in a long while! These guys unearthed this archive of photography from a woman who was a street photographer from the 1950s to the 1990s. No one saw her work, and she never even developed most of her photos... and they're brilliant!

Check out her blog HERE. (P.S. They want to make a documentary... yes.)

Check out my favorite works (so far...more to come!) of hers here:

All photos courtesy of the website linked above.

Gorgeous, no?

My Most Favorite Word Verification... Ever.

2011-03-14T23:00:00.001-07:00

Incorrect spelling, and all.

This Hurts My Soul

2011-03-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

For some reason I can't quite describe (maybe you guys can try), this website distuuuurrrrrbs me.

Its like the indie-fashion-blog version of Toddlers in Tairas. (minisick in my mouth).

Georgie Blue Girl

Adorable or disturbing?

Comment below.

Family Time

2011-03-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

I just realized I haven't updated you guys about my trip to CA and also my exciting news!

Well, the weekend in CA was wonderful! It was so good to see my parents, and then my sister flew out unexpectedly, too! So I got to spend the weekend with best friend, as well :) = Joy. I was bummed that Justin couldn't be there, but he was busy at a swim coaching conference and I am proud of him!

Here's the Reader's Digest version of the weekend:
-We hiked the Trinidad Head, ate crepes, bird-watched, and flea market shopped. Whirlwind, right?

And here are some pictures:

Mom, Schmitz, and the Trinidad Bay. The Head is in the distance.

Everyone got the same crepe, except me. Figures.

But, lo! Mine was the most delicious (to me)- the BLT & Avocado Crepe. mmm-mmm good.


Renata's Creperie. Solid Gold.

The view from the Trinidad Head.

Our resident hummingbird :)

My Dad is a bird-watching enthusiast. I love him! He always has interesting things to say...

And my Mom is a top-notch librarian/soon-to-be-RN & she knows a thing or two about how to pick a good book for any occasion. Which is why she chose this one:


"On the Night You Were Born"

Its a baby book that she read to me and Mitzi before sending it off to my brother and his wife, Jas, in Australia... which brings me to the exciting news!!!

I am now an Aunt for the 3rd time!

And my brother has officially produced a male heir to the throne :)


Baby Jude w/ my handsome Brother, Miles

Jude with my niece, Mieke

And with my nephew, Reece

Congratulations, Jasmine & Miles!
I love you!

Family Dinners

2011-02-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

Whew! I started my new job on Monday and it has been crazy trying to get back into an 8 to 5 routine! I am riding the bus, which tacks an extra 30 min onto the workday, as well. (The first paycheck will make it worth it, I'm sure!) But having a routine again will be fun, in a way. It means its dinner time when I get home, and I am enjoying making meals together again (we eat out way too often). I remember discussing mealtimes with J while we were dating, and we talked about how in the future, as we get new additions to our family, we want to focus on making sure we have family dinners every night. If you read the statistics, it really is just so important- (it improves grades, helps kids avoid drug use, improves self-esteem and life choices, etc). The kitchen used to be the main hub of all social life in a household, and I think its a great misfortune that that has diminished in our society.

Well, in thinking about how I'd like to design our Kitchen of the Future, I think it'd be great fun to make a tradition out of having the kids pick out their own chairs. You know, make it a coming of age thing; take them to a flea market, have them wander around and choose their very own chair, then take it home, help dad fix it up, paint it with mom, etc. We want to make this a fun, family thing to then have our kitchen be a place of comfort and togetherness and love. Sharing meals together is such an important tradition and I want to be able to provide that strength and unity for my family, as my parents did for me and my siblings.

Here are some chair ideas I love:

(click on the photos for links)

How about the same chair, but all in different colors?

OR maybe different chairs all in one color? I particularly love the high-chair... :)

Maybe something for the patio?

And last, but not least, a very fun comic-book-page covered Pop Art chair:

I have an overwhelming desire to go flea market shopping right now. hmmm...

Valentines and Grammys

2011-02-15T17:43:00.000-08:00

That's what everyone wants to talk about right now:

Valentine's Day


All photos courtesy

& The Grammys

Nicole Kidman's Jean Paul Gaultier dress was my favorite

Selma Blair rocked the baby bump in this Lanvin gown!

But I don't want to talk about those things.

I get to go see my parents this weekend!

I have to fly solo because Hubby has some certification courses for swim coaching to complete, and also he has to work on Friday. He's such a good provider- so hard working and loving. He has been so supportive throughout this whole transition and I'm so excited to be starting my new job on Monday! That's why I'm going down to CA this week. I probably won't have another chance for a while, so I'm striking while the iron is hot, as they say.

It will be such a welcome trip.

Its been a hard couple months and I'm excited to go see my loving parentals. Sometimes you just need your Mom and Dad, even as a married lady. It will be especially welcome after this weird week of sleeping in a bed/house that isn't ours and caring for two very rambunctious Labs. And even more especially welcome after the rigamarole of craziness I went through today trying to register my car in the state of Washington. Seriously, people. Could it be any more complicated?! And could some of your employees be more incompetent? And could you at least list the documentation necessary for it all, so I don't have to waste so much gas? After three trips to three different places, it is still not done. I have to make another trip tomorrow just to get a temporary registration paper since my plates are now expired. The amount of paperwork that goes into marriage and a move is insane! I mean, I guess its good for security purposes, but it sure is a pain in the tuckus to prove that I AM ME.

Thank you, very much.

So anyways, I'm not much looking forward to the long drive, but I am definitely looking forward to hanging with Marge and Dave.

But I will miss my Lover.

Ok.

I'll talk about it... a little.

We had a lovely Valentine's Day! We went to brunch at Julia's on Broadway, and stuffed ourselves silly, before heading over to get pedicures. It was Justin's first time (he said, "We should do this, like, every other week", as we were leaving. So I guess he liked it :)) We also went and had sushi for dinner and watched When Harry Met Sally in the bath. Here are some pics from the day (taken with my phone, b/c I forgot my camera again. Blast it all!).

The gorgeous bar at Julia's

Justin's 1st Pedicure :)
I think he looks like one of the Beatles in this pic. hahaha

But my favorite moment of the day was very simple.

We were feeding the meter and I looked down and saw the following message written in the concrete of the meter's base:

"Honey, I hope to give you all the love that God can muster."

I cooed and told Justin to look!

Then I said, "That's my Valentine's Day card to you."

I'll spare you the kissing bit.

We just kind of laughed all day throughout everything we were doing, because (*cheese-ball disclaimer*), every day feels like its Valentine's Day. We just have fun together doing what we love all the time. The honeymoon phase has never even faltered.

J, you are my man. I love you more than words. Forever.

xoxo

Day 60- The End

2011-02-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

Here we are! At the end!

I'm actually really amazed at how fast those 60 Days flew by. When I hit day 30, I remember thinking, "Geez...this is just creeping by so slowly." I don't know how the last thirty days have gone by so quickly!? It feels like the day I quit my job, someone pressed the >>>fast-forward>>> button and things have been zoomin'!

But, here we are.

And it has been a successful adventure! I think I'm going to have to keep doing little (shorter) challenges like this for various skills or goals I want to attain, due to the success of this one, to keep me motivated and spry. Right now, though, I think a recap is necessary:

GOALS:

Get happy

Get fit

Get a job

THE PLAN:
Was that every day I would post

1. A photo of something beautiful, zen, or inspirational

2. An uplifting or inspiring thought or quote

3. Something I'm thankful for

4. My daily successes

5. A song

I did that most every day, unless I was bored to tears and found something better... heh-heh...

SO, DID I SUCCEED?

Why, yes. I did.

I am so so so much happier now than when I started this blog.

Its like a weight has been lifted.

Through this process, I was able to identify exactly what was weighing me down and nip it in the bud.

I have lost 3 lbs. without even trying... well, ok. I tried a little. But that was the extra stress weight that was gained from all of the other factors. However, I have succeeded in getting to the gym fairly regularly and am now taking both ballet classes and zumba classes on alternating days. I feel better than I have in a while. Dance is my anti-drug. Seriously.

I have a J-O-B. WOOT! It came right in the nick of time, I might add, and I am thrilled! It is a writing venture which I have never before attempted and I am excited to start! Who knew I'd end up in advertising as an art history major? Not I, said the Cat.

And even if I hadn't gotten a job, or lost the little extra pudge, I still would have been just as happy. You're skeptical, I can tell. But I'm being serious. The past few months have been wonderful. I have learned so much about the world around me, about myself, about life as a newlywed, and about what challenges I will need more time to tackle, that this journey has been quite an exceptional one. Thank you for making it with me.

So, here I am.
Happier, fitter, and more successful than in a long time.

The 60 Day plan is over, but the fun is not!
Stick around, follow, and I promise it'll only get better from here...

"Focus on the journey, not the destination.

Joy is found not in finishing a thing, but in doing it."

-Greg Anderson-

With Love,

C

PS- Wherever you are, I hope your Sunday evening feels a little like this:

All photos found on Pinterest, Courtesy

Day 59-My life has been rocked!

2011-02-12T12:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so you know how when sometimes you're just in one of those moods (for no apparent reason, but maybe some apparent reason) where you're feeling sorry for yourself? You're perfectly content to mope, but you push yourself through it and force yourself to live a little, and then all of a sudden the universe just dumps a whole truckload of AWESOME in your lap???

Well, if you're like me. That doesn't happen. It usually just dumps a truckload of crap on you to further your dark mood. However, yesterday was different. Intrigued? I bet you are.

This is how it went: the above described mood had descended with the dawn, and I proceeded to write a semi-mopey blog post. Well, the weather was getting more cloudy as the day went on, but Hubby and I decided to take the dogs* for a really long walk instead of going to the gym. The fresh air and exercise** helped, and I ran Hubbs to his swim practice and went to grab some lunch to drop off to him. As I was driving back from the Seattle Deli (best unexpected "pork bahn mi" sandwiches in the city!) I noticed I had a missed call.

From the recruiter for the job I wanted....

I did not even hesitate to break the law and call her back whilst driving.

And, guess what? I GOT IT!!!!! I GOT THE JOB! Its for an online advertising company downtown and I start on the 21st of Feb.

My life has been rocked.

So I ran/jumped/skipped my way into Justin's practice to tell him, and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, I remembered that we had a date planned!
He took me to see PNB's Cinderella last night as an early Valentine's Day present. I am one lucky girl!

Right?

I remembered my camera this time.

Waiting for the ballet to begin

Right after the ballet, in front of McCaw Hall, with the Space Needle behind it (directly above J's head)

*We're house/dog-sitting two black labs, named Bella and Pixie, for some friends while they're in Hawaii- lucky sods. Justin likes to wrestle with them :)

**When I say "exercise", its because they really walk us. I basically just get dragged behind them....

Day 58

2011-02-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

Howdy!

Well, there are only two days left on my 60 Day plan, and I want to finish with the same format as I began; simple, ordered, short. So here goes.

I am in love with this art nouveau inspired door! Whatever lies behind it must be worth discovering.

Found on Pinterest. Courtesy of House of Turquoise.

2. Uplifting Thought of the Day:

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

-Sydney Smith-

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

-Alexander Graham Bell-

3. Counting My Blessings: I've been able to have the time to really commit to this blog and am feeling positive changes in the way I feel about Seattle and my current position. It hasn't been easy, but I've felt supported by my friends and family throughout it all.

4. Daily Successes: I have had really great interviews at a couple new places and am waiting to hear back. Its hard to tell what to make of the interview process because I always feel I perform well. Its hard to keep getting your hopes up and then having them dashed to bits time after time, but I am enjoying this new love of blogging I've discovered and I've been staying quite busy with my volunteer work, etc. I am volunteering with an organization called PROVAIL which works with disabled children and adults. I met with the woman I will be doing art therapy with one-on-one on Tuesday, and I'm quite looking forward to it!

5. The sky has been clear the past two days, and it just makes me happy. The video for this song is just super rad. Can't help but be amazed every time. You'll see why.

Listen

Day 57

2011-02-09T19:24:00.000-08:00

Hi.... my name is Cassandra.... and I'm a PIN-addict.

I'd heard about the website before, but when my friend Katie-Beth began blogging about her love for Pinterest, I knew it was something I had to check out.

Whelp. Sure enough, I'm hooked! I went from 0 to 66 pins in one day.

You're probably thinking: get a life. Well, I do have a life. And that life is currently consisting of job interviews, and house sitting/babysitting two black labs for some friends.

I digress. You should really go to their website and request an invite so you can sign-up, as well. Only then will you understand our passion for Pinterest.

In the meantime, I confess that I am an internet junkie, and that's alright.

Why?

Because you, my fine readers get to benefit from the fruit of my so-called labors.

Courtesy Christine Martinez

Courtesy christine rose

Courtesy iseethemoon

Courtesy Yours Truly

Courtesy Ward Jenkins

And there will be many more find to come.... Keep following.

Day 56

2011-02-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

On the drive back from Bellingham, Justin and I passed this parade of motor-homes and caravans on the highway and we thought, "Man, ....what if?"....

What if we worked hard, saved hard, bought one (or built one) and became a semi-nomadic, sustainable, and self-sufficient couple, touring the US for a year or two, or at least during the summers?

(1st Hitch: We'd need to find jobs with summers free... teaching? >groan<)

BUT we'd be able to see all the random crap like balls of string and bearded ladies that we wanted, whenever we wanted, never pay for a hotel, be able to visit friends and family far and near, and then we'd also tote scooters on the back for zipping around town.

I want it.

I found this adorable caravan at Light Locations. An interior like this would make me feel quite at home, but I doubt Hubby would go for pink...

Or perhaps something more rustic like this wooden gypsy caravan:

Apparently these are pretty popular places to stay, and you can rent them in France... there's a whole listing here.

Then, there's always something like this cheerful, yellow-kitchened beauty:

I love the button-hole window detail.

And I love how airy the interior of this green caravan is.

It even has its own deck! And the little stairs up to it look like a slide...

Looking for more inspiration?
Check out Tiny House Blog
Especially their Bowtop Caravans

Interested in building your own gypsy caravan? nbd.
These guys offer workshops.

Day 55

2011-02-07T23:12:00.000-08:00

Bellingham, WA- "The City of Subdued Excitement"

(yes, literally!)

Yeah, so, the city's not very promising at first glance, but I had heard good things from a girlfriend of mine who'd gone to college up there, so I decided to dig around while Hubby (aka "Coach Justin") was busy with his little swim teamsters.


Clockwise from top left: Prepping some girls the day before the meet, Answering questions during warm-up, Showing a girl how to dive off the blocks, The little swimmers cheering on their team-mate during a race, Justin pointing... haha.

It did take a small bit of digging to find the neighborhoods that would yield my desired "subdued excitement", but it was worth the effort! Here is what I discovered on Saturday:

A fantastic vintage store called Nostalgia.

The owner, Lynn, is an adorable, friendly woman with a flair for everything vintage and she gets her merchandise from all over the U.S. so its always unique and well cared-for.

I loved the high-waisted jeans paired with the cute summery top (c'mon, Sunshine... show your face already!), and the charming linen suit with the peach belt detail. The beaded cardigan is from the '50s and so much better than anything you'll find in, say, a Forever21.

However, after much thought, I decided to take these fabulous finds home with me:

Some gorgeous, buttery, refurbished boots and a hand-painted porcelain ring from the '50s.

All for under $50!

I fell in love with the ring because it reminded me of my Great Aunt who used to paint porcelain as a hobby. I had a painted piggy bank of hers, which she used to practice flowers on.

I then took a leisurely stroll around Old Fairhaven Village.

The Sycamore Square building is four stories of small shoppes and offices, and a salon. These next two pictures are from the interior, and the following two are one of the NW corner of the building and an old photograph of what the building originally looked like.

Don't you love this? It cracked me up.

As I was walking around, I stumbled upon Magdalena's Creperie and had the best baked crepe of my life. It came with this beautiful salad and I treated myself to a chocolate tart with blueberries for dessert.

On Sunday I found a tiny little coffee shop for breakfast. I sat and sipped my tea in a cozy corner, while eating my breakfast biscuit and reading my book (I'm currently reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro and thoroughly enjoying it).

(Photo courtesy of the Owner via link below)

Thank you, Avellino! They also have this fantastic antique bronze espresso machine that I'm so sad I didn't get a photo of... maybe next time?

All in all, it was a pretty successful and relaxing trip. When I wasn't exploring, I was spending time on the pool deck watching the kids race, bowling with the kids, or lounging with Hubby. Good weekend.

Day 52- Friday's Favorites

2011-02-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

My Four Favorites today come from the inspiration of Gary Pepper Vintage.
His new line for summer is sooooo delicious. I'm already in covet mode. Have you seen this? Look at the detail on this dreamy pink dress:

Anyone ready for a holiday in the South Pacific?
I am.

And check out their fantastic video for more details of the line:

Their videos always have gorgeous, dreamy light

and fantastic music! They even used one of my favorite Maggie Eckford songs from last summer.

And that video led me to this video of Maggie and Justin (of everlea)

singing this cover of "Strong Enough":

Had enough? I doubt it... but that's all the awesomeness I think this Friday can handle.

Oh, wait. One more thing.

Hubby and I are going to Bellingham this weekend!

I'm so excited... I hope to have lots of great pictures for you on Monday!

Happy Weekend, everyone!

And don't forget to "follow" ---->

P.S.- I love you. Thanks for stopping by x

Day 51

2011-02-03T23:36:00.000-08:00

My ballet classes at PNB began this week! The classes were a Christmas gift from my darling Hubby ;). Its such a thrill to be able to go to classes taught by the pros again, and to be surrounded by people of all levels makes it less intimidating. I don't know why I was so nervous on the drive to class... the old apprehensions and body-consciousness was back, and I worried about keeping up. But as soon as I saw the other students, I knew I had nothing to fear. So, I'm donning the leotard, once again, and will be dancing my way back to my zen-place. (The tightening of my rear-place won't hurt either!) Cheers to all things dance!

1. SW Editorial - 2. Scottsdale Performing Arts - 3. Stevon Selects

4. MommasAPrincessToo - 5. Edgar Degas - 6. StyleNomad

7. Deviant Art - 8. Studio Tota - 9. Elegant Owl

10. StyleThroughHerEyes - 11. Tenacious Dee - 12. Doujour Magazine

A song to get you dancin'...

Listen

Day 50- only TEN more days to go!

2011-02-02T21:47:00.000-08:00

Being a newlywed means I have these fantastically rose-colored glasses on about all the things I'm going to be able to make and do for my future kids/family. I'm able to dream these wonderful ideas up and am content to pretend to be blissfully ignorant of all of the hard work and time it will take to build my little DIY haven. In my head that's how I think about it. It will all just appear one day. Like babies. They just show up on your doorstep, right? Brought by lovely white storks. Yup.

Anyways, back in the real world I know it will take time and effort, but I am actually looking forward to it. I just need to figure out how to manage my time more effectively (it just feels soooo good to sleep in somedays... most days right now).

But once I do, I'll have time to make fun, decorative things for our home... like my own heirloom napkins.

Something in one of these vintage patterns would be nice:

WddingBeePro

But with a lace edge, like this:

LittleRedHouse

And I found this website- Spoonflower -that will print fabrics of your own design. They even have pre-designed fabrics for projects you'd like to create. I'm wondering what I could do with these:

Hmmmm... well I'll keep thinking and let you know what I come up with...

In the meantime, here is the thought of the day:

"Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire,

you will what you imagine, and at last you create what you will."
--George Bernard Shaw

My daily successes for the past week have been primarily in the service of others. Trying to learn to be a better, truer friend to those I meet. And I've also branched out and found an organization to volunteer with called PROVAIL. I'll be helping do art therapy with physically and mentally disabled people! I'm so thrilled to get started. I meet the woman I'll be helping next week. And I'm also helping plan the event that will help fund their new art center! >Fist PUMP!<

I'm sooooo much happier this week than I've been in a long time. Quitting that job helped suck the poison out of my life. I just needed to get out of my own way and let the universe/God let the good things back in.

Here's a song in celebration:

Listen

Day 49

2011-02-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

James Nares, Came from Nowhere, 2010

James Nares, Go, 2007

James Nares, I Can Tell, 2010

James Nares, Now We Know, 2008

James Nares, Epigraph 4, 2005

I can't believe I only just discovered this man's fabulous art! He's been doing this for ages, and it keeps getting better and better... more creamy and meditative every time.

He was born in London, now resides in New York, and he suspends himself from above to work on his canvases. He uses one long, fluid stroke to make a continuous line, and will often do a work over and over in order to get it right. He's like the anti-Jackson-Pollock.

I would love to have the sort of interior, one day, where I'd be able to own and
display his artwork thusly:

July/August 2007 ELLE Decor

Don't you just love that tangerine-cream-bamboo combo?

Day 48- French Night

2011-02-01T00:24:00.000-08:00

Quick Weekend Update:
Friday night we drove over to Olympia to have dinner with Aunt Beth and her new German Shepard puppy, "Solo". He is adorable! I loved his flopsy little body with paws and ears that are just a little too big right now.

Saturday was a long day of service. I helped out with our ward's Emergency Preparedness event and helped the ladies compile 72-Hour Kits. A presenter from SNAP came and gave a great spiel about what to do in case of an earthquake (since Seattle is so vulnerable and prone to those). I made an extra and dropped it off to Chelsea tonight at dinner.

Sunday was a sleepy day at church, followed by some tidying-up and dinner with the Shribers in the evening. It was a crazy, screaming-grandchild, spaghetti free-for-all, and I loved every second! They have a beautiful home with a view of Lake Washington, overlooking the yacht club. Goal: move into that neighborhood someday, assuming we stay in Seattle forever.

French Night!

I love Monday nights now! I was looking forward to our little "Family Night" all weekend. Tonight we made quiche. We used this recipe, and I subbed sharp cheddar for the cheese, bacon for the ham, and added broccoli because I like it that way. Everyone else enjoyed it, too :). We then had our French Lesson and learned more about pronunciation with the same nouns and verbs as last week. It was a challenge to stay focused tonight and we chatted about everything from going on cruises to trips to Vegas, to short hair vs. long hair on girls, to the "fat booth" app for iphones. However, we managed to get through it, and I am beginning to become more obsessed with all things FRENCH:

1. 10000BC - 2. BeachHouseLiving - 3. Unknown

4. Lou, Boos, and Shoes - 5. Same as #4 - 6. Black Eiffel

7. balavenise - 8. Rick.GDL.MX - 9. BodieandFou

I just discovered this group, and I love LOVE love her... she is Israeli and Dutch, and was raised in France! Intrigued yet? Check out this video:

Listen

And fall in love...

(Does anyone else hate the new YouTube ads as much as I do???? Loathing them.)

And since I haven't posted any quotable goodness lately, here's a delectable nugget for you:

"Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us."

--Wilma Rudolph

Day 45- Friday's Favorites

2011-01-29T02:43:00.000-08:00

***S P E C I A L *** E D I T I O N***

This Friday, I'm bringing you a most special edition of my favorite things- SO special, in fact, that there is only one thing to list:
My favorite thing this week is that.... I QUIT MY JOB!

No longer do I answer to the King of Fools or his lazy minions. I have regained my control over my fate and I am ecstatic! I have been humming and whistling and singing all day; no longer the metaphorical canary (me) in the mineshaft (my lousy min. wage job). And in honor of that step out of darkness and into the light that is making my heart sing, I've composed a musical petit four for you. May I present the "Suck On That!" Playlist. Here's to sticking it to the man and following your bliss!
I hope you're all following your own bliss. I love you! Thank you for reading...

Day 44- WEDDING PICTURES, AT LAST!

2011-01-27T20:28:00.000-08:00

We got married over two days in Portland, OR. We were sealed for time and eternity in the

LDS Temple on Friday October 15, 2010.

We then had a ring ceremony and reception to celebrate with all of our friends at

the Mount Tabor Presbyterian Church on Saturday October 16, 2010.

I decided to skip the traditional bouquet toss, and instead presented it to

Grandma Blanchard. She and Grandpa celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary in 2010

and I hope the gesture will bring me and the Hubby good luck and longevity in our marriage.

My father made the cake stands, and even carved the monogrammed heart

(from our CD favors)

onto the larger base... you can see it below in the cake cutting pic.

I changed into a gold and ivory wedding suit for our sparkler send-off

on the way to our honeymoon.

Wedding: Portland, OR LDS Temple
Reception: Mt. Tabor Presbyterian Church
Photography: Kristopher Orr Photography & You Look Nice Today Photography
*If you have questions about other specific details, just leave a comment with your email address, and I'd be happy to give you specs!

Peepin'

2011-01-27T14:49:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite pass-times is people watching. I do it when I'm bored at work. I do it while I'm waiting. I do it while I'm walking. And I especially love coffee shops. You hear and see so many outrageous things!*

Right now I'm sitting in the coffee shop in B&N and making up the pretend parentage of some of the patrons (I do this at work a lot with interesting-looking customers). There are no rules. You can mix real celebrities with cartoon characters, and the parents don't have to be both M and F. You can have two Ms, or even an animal and human paring.
Example:

The Fonz + Bob Ross

Barry Kivel (The Coke sniffer from Crocodile Dundee) + Star Wars Alien

Dolores Umbridge + Baby Sinclair

(these are some of my recent favorites... if you close your eyes and imagine what these would look like in human form, you're probably right... I am easily amused.)

Back to B&N, though. I'm loving listening to two female, French authors discuss literature to my left. To my right, I'm overhearing a woman with a Kiwi accent consult a stay at home mom on how to re-enter the job market. She is working on her resume and cover letters and warning her about her "Tells". When she gets nervous, the pitch of her voice gets higher, like she's speaking to her children in a sort of "baby talk". I wonder how much she's getting payed for this kind of work? I am also kind of heartbroken over the frail old man, who seems to be a regular from his quavering banter with the baristas. He keeps holding up his empty cup and saying "yoo-whoo" to try and get their attention. But its noisy in here, and ...oh, good. They heard him.

*Outrageous things remind me of impossible things, and thinking about the impossible always reminds me of Alice. This is one of my favorite books- always has been- and I think I need to re-read it, as I feel like moving to a new city is quite akin to going through the looking glass. Read on:

"... 'Only it is so very lonely here!' Alice said in a melancholy voice; and, at the thought of her loneliness, two large tears came rolling down her cheeks.
'Oh, don't go on like that!' cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in despair. 'Consider what a great girl you are. Consider what a long way you've come to-day. Consider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, only don't cry!'
Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of her tears. 'Can you keep from crying by considering things?' she asked.
'That's the way it's done,' the Queen said with great decision: 'nobody can do two things at once, you know. Let's consider your age to begin with — how old are you?''I'm seven and a half, exactly.'
'You needn't say "exactly",' the Queen remarked. 'I can believe it without that. Now I'll give you something to believe. I'm just one hundred and one, five months and a day.'
'I ca'n't believe that!' said Alice.
'Ca'n't you?' the Queen said in a pitying tone. 'Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.'
Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said 'one ca'n't believe impossible things.'
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'..."--Lewis Caroll, Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There, 1871

Days 42 & 43

2011-01-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

Alright. Its time for me to talk about the elephant in the room. I've been avoiding doing this because I've wanted to keep this 60 Day thing upbeat and inspiring. I've wanted to change the way I think and think more positively- you know, law of attraction-type stuff. And for most of the days, it works.

But it has also been a challenge. Harder than I thought it would be, because in order to change the way you think, you have to think about your demons, call them out one by one, and face them.

The little demons (like staying on top of a clean house, getting my butt to the gym, learning how to count calories, etc) had their own power, but the big demons (trust issues, bad self-esteem, doubt) have been waging war with me this past week. Before this move to Seattle, I had never applied to any job that I did not get. I'm not saying that to gloat, but I'm a very employable person. Applying to job after job and trying to survive the disappointment, made it seem like I was in one of those videos where time was running backwards, and the old wounds that had long since healed have slowly been opening back up. It felt (and still kind of feels) like all the work I'm doing, and had done already, was for nothing. Life was pouring salt in my wounds, yet again.

Its really no surprise that the turmoil-bomb finally hit me. Look at the past six months:
-In a matter of a few weeks from July to August, I came back from a strenuous semester of backpacking abroad, where I'd gotten engaged. My older brother got married, and my fiance got a job offer in another state during that weekend. I graduated from BYU and packed up my life, hardly having time to think about the situation, and caravanned with my mother and fiance through 4 different states in a weekend to end up in Seattle. Over the next two months, J and I moved yet again (from the family friends' house we were camping at) into an apartment after an exhaustive search. I found a part-time job and planned my own wedding while working, as well. I got married! Rode the roller coaster of birth control until neither of us could take it anymore (my hormones are still re-balancing). We completely re-vamped the apartment to turn it into a functional home. I am still working the same part-time job (that I now despise), and have been on the job hunt, to no avail, blogging constantly about it all. Whew! Are you tired? I am.

I started getting really emotional (chalk it up to hormones), but I kept trying to push the emotions away. I thought that if I ignored them and kept thinking positively, then they really would go away and I'd wake up with a renewed sense of well-being overnight. Then I'd get up, eat a breakfast of champions, and the phone would start ringing off the hook with job offers!

Fail.

That is not how it works, I guess. Live and learn, right? So here I am. Bruised and battle-scarred after having the emotional roof collapse on me slowly. I've put my poor husband through it, as well, trying not to let him see the emotional turmoil. I hate feeling/being weak, especially around him. As a newlywed, I forget sometimes that I'm safe now. Marriage is so different from dating. We are sealed together, which means we are in it together for the eternal long-haul, and he loves me, even at my weakest. This doesn't mean that we don't have to work at it, or that problems will just fix themselves, or that forces outside our control will have no effect on us, it just means that we a different perspective on things when problems arise. I don't know what I'd do without him. He believes in me, even when I don't believe in me.

But its not all doom and gloom. I had a really good interview on Saturday, and even if I don't get that job, it reaffirmed my abilities. I have learned a lot this past week:
1. Parents (especially Mothers, from the emotional support angle) are your greatest cheerleaders
2. No matter how hard you try, things will not always turn out as you planned, but sometimes they turn out better
3. Failure is not failure if you're trying your hardest. Sometimes failure is the most desirable result, because it makes you look at things in ways you never would have before, and sometimes you'll see things you would have otherwise missed
4. My Heavenly Father loves me and knows who I am, and my individual needs
5. "...By small and simple things are great things brought to pass..." --Alma 37:6
6. Sleep is my best friend
7. Caesar salad is my other

I started looking for help, and I found it in weird places. This article was one. This video was another. It really helped put things in perspective, and it helped me set some new goals for myself. I am grateful for eternal perspective. I am grateful for the opportunity to grow through challenges. And I am grateful for the small things.

A really good homemade guacamole, made by Hubby, on a whim

An exciting new city to explore with Hubby

(The notorious gum wall @ Pike Place... I swear I'm not preggo...)

Hubby.

There is no end to the fun we have together.

I am glad I have someone to be silly with, sexy with, angry with, hard-working with, and lazy with.

Life is hard sometimes, but it is good.

Oh, and #8. FUN is very very important.

Day 41

2011-01-24T16:06:00.001-08:00

Weekend Update: I had a job interview on Saturday, and then we went tubing at the Snoqualmie Summit with the swim team kids Justin coaches. It was one of their yearly outings and our triceps are so sore! Justin is sore all over from giving the kids pushes and spins down the hill. Even kids who
weren't on the team got their turn... haha.

Waiting for the adventure to begin

My big "Man-Child"

2. Uplifting Thought of the Day:

"Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.

You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet,

there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."

--J.R.R. Tolkien

3. Counting My Blessings: Good friends I can share adventures and meals with, telephones, technology, and music!

4. Daily Successes: Went to physical therapy and the gym in the morning to get take care of my body. Planned French Night with our friends Eddie and Chelsea! The girls planned the meal and made Chicken Marengo, and the boys did the dishes. We then sat down on the couch and had our first French lesson via the Rosetta Stone application Eddie downloaded. We learned all about men, women, and children reading, eating, running, drinking, and cooking. hahaha We decided to do this weekly on Monday nights because Eddie's family speaks French and they want to go to Belgium for a wedding in September. Justin and I want to travel more, and learning French was high on our list since we want to go back to France and have better experiences there. Especially since we want to travel outside of the big cities. If these French Nights are a success, there will be no end to our language learning and travels! Unfortunately, I forgot my camera. Lame. So I will take pictures next week, for sure!

5. An oldie, but my favorite song off my favorite album of theirs.

Listen

Day 38- FRIDAY!

2011-01-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, guys! Thank you for sticking with me this far! I know that sometimes this theme might get monotonous for you readers, but this 60 Day Plan thing is really working for me and I feel like a positive change is on the horizon...

(I'm hoping to be able to give good news at the beginning of next week, is what I'm saying...)

Since The Plan is doing its job, I've decided to do something different with my FRIDAY posts-- because, really, who doesn't love Friday and all that it means? So here goes: on Fridays, I'm going to introduce you to my secret favorite things. Websites, products, Seattle hot-spots, trends, etc, that I'm currently enjoying. These are things I don't just share with anyone, but since you're loyal readers, you deserve perks. Here goes:

My Favorite Websites and Blogs- Part I:

- 1. DesignSponge - 2. Lost At E Minor -

- 3. NoGoodForMe - 4. N.E.E.T. Magazine Blog -

I'll feature a new theme every week and I'd love to hear your feedback on whether you enjoyed the things or not! I'd also encourage you to follow, if you so desire :)... And how do you guys feel about music players that automatically start when visiting a blog? Yay? Nay? I'm deciding on a configuration for mine. I've set it to auto-start this weekend... let me know if you like it.

(PS- I'm stopping the (4a) bullet on regular posts and just including it with (4), because its just too much clutter.)

Day 37

2011-01-21T17:23:00.000-08:00

(Courtesy: JannaPham)

2. Uplifting Thought of the Day:

"There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle."

--Albert Einstein

3. Counting My Blessings: I have a husband who enjoys talking with me about everything; life, love, philosophy, travel, dreams, problems, etc. I'm grateful my parents who taught me the value of apologizing, acknowledging fault, communication, and forgiveness. I'm also grateful to belong to a church, the core values of which are all about family and eternal relationships with others and with God. I'm grateful for temples.

4. Daily Successes: I learned a lot about myself today. I learned about my limits and weaknesses and was able to focus and meditate upon both all day long, while going about my daily activities and working. My husband and I attended the temple last night and it was such a wonderful opportunity to re-prioritize, and put things in perspective. I love feeling that re-affirmation that I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things. All the petty things fall to the wayside, and I feel as though a weight has been lifted.

4a. Random Act of Kindness or Service: Accomplished.

5. I just love this guy's stuff. I found it fitting... the vid is lame, but just open another tab and listen to the music while doing something else hahaha.

Listen

Day 36

2011-01-19T23:47:00.000-08:00

(Courtesy: Time Captured)

2. Uplifting Thought of the Day:

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead."
--Louisa May Alcott

3. Counting My Blessings: The sun was out this morning and filled my soul with some much needed feelings of well-being. I live in a beautiful world, have a healthy body, friendships to buoy me up, and family who loves me. This means I also have people to care for and bring happiness to, and I'm grateful for that responsibility.

4. Daily Successes: I got up with the sun, caught up with my blogging, and spent the morning running errands. Then I went to the gym and had a really intense, short workout. I discovered a new free-weight move, where I lie on my stomach on a balance ball with 3 lb. weights in each hand and practice swim strokes. It looks kind of funny, but its like swimming laps out of the water and I think its my new favorite thing! After attempting to swim laps for the first time in more years than I can count, my darling pro-swimmer of a husband good naturedly told me I'm "a flailer". So, I'm trying to build some muscle control before I get back in the water again. Hahaha!

4a. Random Act of Kindness or Service: I had a generally lazy day, but am going to count my act for today anyways :).

5. I love this song and I love the video even more! I love the girls in masquerade masks and his awful bowl cut... its incredible! The whole washed-out feeling of the video reminds me of all the things I love about the '80s. Such a good sunny day song!

Listen

(Aside for Day 32)

2011-01-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

Look what I just saw...

It seems that Jack Shephard (Lost- Season 4, Episode 4) drives a brown Scout...wait, I guess that's a Brinco? Whatever. I'll just pretend its a Scout and that will make me love this show even more.

Day 35- A Happy Home

2011-01-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

I am so obsessed with the look of framed wallpaper right now! And I love the little cutout accents of the paper birds made from wallpaper scraps... I wish we had more wall-space in the apartment to do something like this! But I am folding this idea up, and tucking it away for later.

1. girlhula 2. such pretty things

3. dottie angel 4. vlijtig liesje

I especially love the simple elegance of this look, with the gray wall behind it.

(Courtesy: Southern Living)

2. Uplifting Thought of the Day:

"...A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle...

...Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood. ..

...All that spirits desire, spirits attain. "

--Khalil Gibran

3. Counting My Blessings: I have always had good, strong bones and teeth, and am grateful to never have broken any thus far. J and I have slowly transformed our sad, crowded, little apartment into an organized, cozy little home. My life is filled with love.

4. Daily Successes: Spent the day working and the afternoon/evening getting a million to-dos checked-off. Cleaned the apartment, made and sewed the final curtains and hung them, and made dinner for Husband so our home was welcoming and relaxing when he got home. I always find it remarkable how much better your soul feels when you return to a clean, happy home after a long day.

4a. Random Act of Kindness or Service: I wasn't able to complete this today, but will tomorrow.

5. This woman has such a Billie Holiday quality to her voice. If I close my eyes, its remarkable! I love this song. I have many memories of my father whistling this in the kitchen while he was cooking. Brings a smile to my face, always.

Listen

leaves of a life

We've Moved!

Days 38-40

Day 37

Day 36

Days 32-35

Day 31

Day 30

Day 29

Day 28

Day 26 & 27

Day 25

Days 23 & 24

Day 22

One Year!!!

Day 21

Day 20- Etymology

Day 19

Day 18- Foxy Lady

Our Week Away

*Announcement*

Days 16-17

Day 15- Happy Friday!

Day 14

Day 13

Day 12

Day 11

Days 8-10

Day 7

Day 6

Day 5

Day 4

Days 2 & 3

Attitude of Gratitude- Day 1

Worry

Woman of the Future

Shot Through the Heart!

Sometimes

Remember When?

Finally! My Humps.

Birthday Week

Featured!

Garden Victory!

I truly believe,

Birthday Wishes

Stronger

Is life a highway? Or is it more like Oregon Trail?

News

Re-Lease

Renascence

Apology

Good Reads

Normal Mormons

Redefining Apathy

Hotel Shampoo

Vivian Maier

My Most Favorite Word Verification... Ever.

This Hurts My Soul

Family Time

Family Dinners

Valentines and Grammys

Day 60- The End

Day 59-My life has been rocked!

Day 58

Day 57

Day 56

Day 55

Day 52- Friday's Favorites

Day 51

Day 50- only TEN more days to go!

Day 49

Day 48- French Night

Day 45- Friday's Favorites

Day 44- WEDDING PICTURES, AT LAST!

Peepin'

Days 42 & 43

Day 41

Day 38- FRIDAY!

Day 37

Day 36

Announcement